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'Tis a puzzlement...

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Bartcop asks a pertinent question:

You girls, between Charlie Sheen, the vulgar Pigboy, Eldrick or Chris Brown, who'd you least like to date?

Oh lord, that IS a hard one. All of them are so repugnant in their respective ways:

Charlie Sheen's track record is just bad all around. How many failed marriages does this make? And how many addictive demons that he's obviously not handling? One would have to be crazy even to contemplate dating him. But at least he's not too hard on the eyes, and he IS funny. When he's not roaring away on booze and whatever, of course.

Rush Limbaugh is so repulsive I wouldn't let him within a mile of me. He's Charlie Sheen without the looks OR the talent. He has only one redeeming trait: He's not known to be violent. At least not physically. But his general worldview more than makes up for that. And really, who wants to put up with a guy who holds all women, even beautiful ones, in contempt--much less have sex with an obviously underwhelming specimen like him?

Tiger Woods may not be ugly or violent, and maybe he's not known for putting women down on the air, either--but it's pretty clear to me that something's doing on the drugs front with him, too. And of all four, he is the man most likely to infect a woman with a disease she would be ashamed to take to a doctor. Maybe one that would even kill her. Srsly--in all his exploits, do you recall ANY of the women saying he used condoms? That's some frightening shit right there.

That leaves Chris Brown. I saw the pictures of what he did to Rihanna. You couldn't NOT see the pictures, because they were just absolutely everywhere. And he did that before his twentieth birthday. The earlier they start, the less likely they are to stop. In terms of bad behavioral patterns, he's therefore streets ahead of the rest.

Chris Brown "wins", if you can call it that.

Comments

Oh, good God, I'd hop in the sack with Elmer Fudd before I'd even talk to Rush Limbenburg. Hell, I'd do Gollum before I'd date Rush. Physically revolting, with all the charm and personality of an infected ass boil - compared to him, the rest of the list seem like princes.

Rush IS an infected ass boil. Good thing we don't have to actually choose between these four, eh?