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April 30, 2010

Festive Left Friday Blogging Too: Cartoon of the day

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"Monsters and monsterettes, time to vote!"

Chavecito is now tweeting. From his Vergatario?

(Courtesy Aporrea.)

UPDATE: Yes, Chavecito has invited Evo and Fidel to come tweet with him. No word yet on whether they will.

Canadian comedy is eerily prescient--and better than US news

Dave Foley of The Kids in the Hall anticipates Glenn Beck, back when the latter was still mumbling drunkenly behind a 7-11 store somewhere. Keitho (when he's on, he's really really on) points out the eerie parallels.

And yes, the paranoid hysteria is being whipped up against Russia again, and "killer bees" (i.e. the Latin American left, which was always independent of Moscow--and yes, even Cuba had its squabbles with Teh Russkies). So this is even more eerily prescient than even Dave and Keitho could know.

See, this is why we export so many comedians to the US. We could export political commentators, too; trust me, when Jon Stewart is their number-one newsman, they'd never know!

Festive Left Friday Blogging: Chavecito thanks his tweeps

And where better to do it than in his home town of Sabaneta, in his home state of Barinas, with his amigo Evo alongside as they inaugurated an education centre?

In just 48 hours, and with only two tweets to his "candanga" name as of the publication of that note, Chavecito had already racked up over 100,000 followers. Not too shabby. Better than that douchebag Juanes in a similar timespan, I'll bet.

And he's a lot less garrulous on the tweeter than Keith Olbermann snarked that he'd be, too.

PS: No, Evo's not on yet. I checked. There are about half a dozen payasos impersonating him, though. Can't find the real El Ec, either.

Stupid Sex Tricks: Don't tread on me

No, seriously, don't:

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It's supposed to be a coiled snake, but from this distance, who can tell?

Stupid Sex Tricks: Ur doin it rong

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Cute doll. But can it do this?

April 29, 2010

The Parliament Hillbillies

Finally, our lovely government in its true colors:

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Starring Stephen Harper as Jed, Jason Kenney as Miss Jane, Rahim Jaffer as Mr. Drysdale, Vic Toews as Granny, John Baird as Jethro and Helena Guergis as Ellie May.

ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG!!!

Eva Golinger has just informed the Facebookers that Chavecito is now on the tweeter. His handle is @chavezcandanga.

Now I'm gonna have to sign up for yet another social-networking time-suck (sigh, grrr), if only so I can figure out how many times I can write "te amo" in 140 characters.

Life's a beeyotch.

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UPDATE: I'm now (reluctantly) on the tweeter. Look over to the right-hand side, you should see me. Feel free to start twitting. (SIGH)

April 28, 2010

How to speak Inglish lahk a teabagger

Let Tim James (R-Mushmouth) give you immuhgrunts a quick lesson:

Isn't he just the living embodiment of this sign?

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I mean, isn't he just?

UPDATE: And if you wanna know what side of the Mason-Dixon Line the state of Indiana was REALLY on, just read this. Thank ewe, and God Help Amurrica.

April 27, 2010

Stupid Sex Tricks: Baby, I wanna jump your bones!

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Dear Lord. The "bride" is playing with her pelvis! And how does a fleshless "groom" end up having a little pink tongue, anyway?

April 26, 2010

Teh Heterostoopid: Put me down, daddy...

...and let's get out of this icky place!

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Way to empower your daughter, asshole.

Why my boobs aren't quaking today

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Yes, people, you read right: I'm not doing Boobquake today. I'm doing Brainquake instead. I can just hear the chorus already...

"Aw, 'Bina...you party pooper. You spoilsport. You...you...you...HUMORLESS FEMINIST, you. Why aren't you letting your bodacious double-Ds bounce out in the breeze, sticking it to crazy Iranian clerics who are dumb enough to think that immodest women cause earthquakes?"

Well, uh...maybe it's because I don't feel the need to sink to that dirty-minded man's level. He's got Teh Stoopid, and I'm supposed to counter it with more Stoopid? Uh, no. (Besides, I've already mocked him here, in item #5.) How about countering him with a flash of brains instead? You know, like realizing that he might not have been talking about boobs, or legs, but simply showing your hair? That's considered immodest by Iranian mullahs.

Yes, I know. Pathetic.

But it's true. The morals police there can bust you if they think you've got your headscarf on too loose. Or they can make you remove your makeup and/or nail polish if it's deemed too gaudy. Even showing your socks can be a no-no, or at least it was not so long ago. Maybe it is again today, or will be tomorrow; it all depends on the whim of the mullahs.

And that's what's so horrible and scary. The mullahs, not the elected president, are the real rulers of Iran. Even if Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (whom I don't care for, BTW) were to be overthrown tomorrow, those guys would still be firmly in place. It is therefore with regard to them that the real cultural battles in Iran will be fought. It's all very well for us over here to show our tits to salivating dudes and call it rebellion (or just a Girls Gone Wild video--same diff); it's something else to rebel over there, where smaller, subtler, but far more concrete acts on a daily basis must constitute a genuine push-back against the mullahtocracy.

But to understand that, you have to use your brains and read up a bit on Iran. I recommend Azar Nafisi's book, Reading Lolita in Tehran, to give you some idea. Or Betty Mahmoody's memoir, Not Without My Daughter. Those books make all this cheeky western girl-talk of immodesty seem downright dumb.

And that's because it IS dumb. It is, as the originator rather sheepishly confesses, a snarky joke that somehow morphed into a "protest". It has now reaped the inevitable crowd of male gawkers that show up whenever free (as in gratis, not liberated) boobies are in the offing. This is way too frivolous to merit being called a political movement. It's just "woo-hoo, look how rebellious we are!"

Yeah, girls, someone's looking, all right...and it's not the person at whom this fauxtest is being aimed; he can't see you. It's a whole lot of other dudes, who are training their telephoto lenses at your neckline and rubbing their hands (or other body parts) with glee. Which is exactly what the misguided mullah was babbling on about, if you leave out the earthquake bit. So there you go; you're proving him right in an effort to prove him wrong. Feel foolish yet?

But hey, the boobquakers protest, this is all for the sake of science! Okay, girls, let's do some science. (You can cover up now if you like. We won't be needing our boobs for this one.)

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that it's true that an unscarfed head is immodest. Therefore, if the hypothesis is that immodesty causes earthquakes, this hypothesis has already been disproved. You can disprove it at any time, with a simple look around you when you're out in public. How many women do you see who have their hair fully covered? How many do you see who don't? If it's a majority that don't, and the ground isn't shaking angrily underfoot, then you can pretty much take it for granted that the immodesty of these women isn't making seismic trouble after all, eh?

And just look at France. This past week, Sarko banned religious headscarves altogether. Has the ground opened up and swallowed the entire country? Are tremors turning the terre into a trampoline? Non? Well, then, there again is your answer. And no tittaes needed to prove the hypothesis false.

Canada doesn't have a nationwide headscarf ban; Muslim women are free to wear their scarves, or not, as they please (except in Québec). Most women here go bareheaded all year round, even when it's foolish to do so (chills and sunstroke can happen, and for these reasons, as well as fashion, I love my hats!) Does Canada have a lot of earthquakes? No. It hardly has even minor tremors! Even "immodest" Québec hasn't been hit with any big 'uns. So, again: Hypothesis false.

Science class dismissed. Now, let's do some Women's Studies.

The best ones to tackle the sexist stupidity of an Iranian mullah are Iranian women. Does anyone know what they're saying and doing about this? Maybe we should start paying attention to them. I will be. I hear that they are an educated and sophisticated bunch, on the whole, particularly the younger ones. I hope they're criticizing this guy as he deserves. He should be feeling thoroughly embarrassed by his superstitious and outdated view of the world, and all the unwelcome attention it's gotten him. It's one thing to urge modesty; it's quite another to do it with ridiculous, easily debunked arguments. If virtue isn't its own reward, then an earthquake-free existence (or the promise thereof, which is ludicrous in a land as seismically active as Iran) isn't going to cut it either.

And speaking of rewards: What, exactly, are we supposed to be getting out of this whole skin-show, as women? In terms of actual feminist advances, we're getting nada. Unless, of course, you count cheap laughs and bulging male eyeballs as feminist achievements. I don't.

Plus, right-wing pseudofeminist anti-Islamist warhawks are taking up the "cause", too. Do I want to be seen flashing my ta-tas with that crowd of cretinesses? Do you?

And in the end, it's not going to shake things up for us here, is it? It's not going to win us an extra ounce of respect. It's not going to earn us wage parity with a man's dollar. It's not going to get bad laws struck down or modified. It's not going to provide us with birth control that works, or abortion services as needed. It's not going to provide working moms with daycare, or divorced custodial mothers with adequate child support. It's not going to ensure that rape victims get a fair hearing in court. It's not going to keep bar-room baddies from slipping roofies in our drinks. It's not going to level the playing field (and believe me, it's not level, girls.) All it's going to get...is guys ogling us. And the only thing in the world it's gonna rock is some stranger's cock.

Call me a killjoy, but I think we can all do better than that.

PS, ca. 4:10pm: And then along came Femquake....and I joined THAT, too. The nice thing about being a feminist is that you don't have to choose between having boobs and having brains--you're smart enough to know that it's all in how you deploy them.

PPS: And say, how's about we do a QueerIslamicane to this Clay Yarborough dude here in Florida? Since he thinks gay people and Muslims bring hurricanes because they're not his breed of folks, I say it might be worth testing the hypothesis. Everybody dress modestly--women in headscarves, men in turbans--and parade past his office in same-sex couples, holding hands. See if the weather starts getting rough. Too silly? Well, now you know why I didn't do Boobquake. Like I said...we can do better.

April 25, 2010

Quotable: Sinéad O'Connor on sexual abuse in the Catholic church

I remember all the flak she took when she first spoke out--almost the only famous person to do so--against sexual abuse in the church. People called her crazy. (Including some so-called progressives.) Oh, she's a famous singer. Oh, they're all eccentric. Oh, pay no attention. Oh, this. Oh, that. It got so bad that at one point, she had to take out an ad pleading for the feces-flinging to stop.

Oh, where are they now? She doesn't sound so crazy NOW, does she?

(Thanks to JJ.)

Music for a Sunday: Jenny was sweet

She always smiled for the people she'd meet...

Great, great classic song. I first heard it a few years after it charted, but it was one of those "love at first hear" ones for me. Those blue raindrops from the keyboard, leading into the loveliest takeoff at the end (which is sadly cut off in all the videos I've found of this so far)...well, they just don't write 'em like that anymore. And I find that a damn shame.

April 24, 2010

Wankers of the Week: Holy Terrors edition

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Holy terrors, holy mo,
Forty fuckers in a row!
Hear 'em holler, blast and blow--
No more intro now, let's go!

1. Celestino Fucking Migliore. Yes, let's ignore all the celibates raping all the kiddies, and fixate on the alleged slowdown in population growth instead. To a rational person, this slowdown is GOOD news, because there are already too many humans, and they're fucking up the planet big-time. But not to the Holy See (which should be called the Holy Blinkers, if truth in advertising were applied to it). No, the archbishop says people should be reproducing like rabbits to stave off an economic collapse. I guess he forgets what helped bring the current one about. Get it through your head, dude: We owe crapitalism nothing. And no one has the right to tell us to churn out more babies to be fed into its meatgrinder.

2. and 3. Dario Castrillon Hoyos and Pierre Pican. The latter fails to denounce a pedophile priest and have him defrocked and imprisoned; the former applauds him for it. How fucked up is THAT? To most of us, plenty. To the Vatican, meh...it's all in a day's work to cover up, cover up, cover up, up, UP.

4. Richard Fucking Williamson. It's hard to see how anyone could deny what is so widely acknowledged (and documented) to be real. But logic has never stopped anti-semites from denying the obvious, because they simply don't have it. Still, the Vatican hasn't done anything about him, so draw the appropriate conclusion.

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Deny this, asshole. Oh that's right, it never happened. No pictures exist!

5. Kazem Fucking Sedighi. Catholic clerics aren't the only ones who lack logic, or who tie the most unrelated phenomena together. Iranian mullahs are just as capable of bat guano. Which is why this one, rather than learning some basic science, would prefer to blame "immodest" women for earthquakes and just ignore all the active fault lines running through the land.

6. and 7. Scott and Renee Fucking Baio. I never did like Chachi (he always struck me as the most annoying and superfluous character on Happy Days), and now I know why. Bet Scott's resentful that he's still living on the residuals from that show, having never succeeded at another major thing in his life. No wonder he wants to keep it all to himself, the lazy wanker. His wife's also a real, homophobic piece of shit (and no, I don't mean work--I mean SHIT.)

Best comment at Jezebel: "Can anyone remind me why we're supposed to care what Scott Baio thinks of us again? This is probably more publicity than he's gotten in the last decade." Yep, that about sums it up.

PS: Oh, sweet Jeezus!!! PPS: Canadian prices are higher due to exchange rates, not socialized medicine, you dumb fuck. But even if your kooky assertion were true, it would still be a better bargain than what you're paying for.

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Now you know why I'm not on the tweeter. It's because SCOTT FUCKING BAIO RUINED IT!!!

8. Garry Fucking Breitkreuz. No sense apologizing, we all saw what you did there. And there, too. Asshole.

9. Nathan Fucking Coffey. Excuse me, who wants "free money" again? This woman's late husband worked hard for the pittance he got in the Massey coal-hole, and this 'winger from a stink-tank--funded by the coal industry--dares to insinuate that she's a gold-digger? For seeking compensation for her husband's wrongful death? Where does this fucking man-whore get off...?

10. Larry Fucking King. Now we know why he's divorcing for the eighth time (or is it the ninth? So hard to keep track!): Gotta make room for Mrs. Next. Who happens to be the sister of the current (but not for long) Mrs. King. Word to the wise, sister: If he left her for you, he's gonna leave you for the next one. And don't let that wrinkly old face fool you; this Methuselah will probably outlive all his significantly younger significant others.

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"I'm 'enry the Eighth, I am, I'm 'enry the Eighth, I am, I am. I got married to the widow next door, she's been married seven times before. And every one was an 'enry...so it's 'enry the Eighth, I am, I am--'ENRY THE EIGHTH I AM! (Second verse! Same as the first!)"

Ahem. Sorry.

11. David Fucking Miliband. What good is a pep talk on "great British spirit" if hotels are gouging travellers stranded by the volcanic eruption in Iceland? How about showing some spirit yourself, minister, and cracking down on the gougers instead of telling the stranded to fend for themselves? Or is that too much greatness for you?

12. Megyn Fucking Kelly. Marry Sean Fucking Hannity and have sex with Blotchy Fucking Billo? Look, I don't care if it was a game. The only proper answer, in the case of all three, was KILL!!!

13. Sue Fucking Lowden. Yeah, I'm sure my doctor would just LOVE to take a chicken in lieu of billing my provincial health plan. I'm sure she would just LOVE to kill and pluck it herself, too. What century is this woman living in? Clearly she yearns for the days when even a chicken was more than some people owned, and those who couldn't afford a doctor just curled up and died like good little peons, clearing out the useless eaters and making room for the next crop of excess births.

14. Jonathan Fucking Kay. He can't be bothered to pick up a phone or a newspaper, or log onto the Internet. If he did, he might realize that Antonia Zerbisias didn't "lose a column", she was promoted to the Features department at the Toronto Star, where she now has a greater opportunity to help other "radical leftist" (really, just plain old liberal) voices get heard. Bad, lazy, overly speculative "journalism" (really, just plain old fiction) that can't be bothered to get even a basic detail right--is it any wonder the National Pest, supposedly a daily, is bleeding red ink (and not even publishing on Mondays anymore)?

Oh, and get this. Look at the URL in the linky: "...another-shrieking-voice". SHRIEKING? Well, the National Pest would certainly know from that--its columnists do it constantly. And so do the trolls who squat in its comments sections.

PS: WTF?

PPS: Oh, let us pray!

15. The Fucking State Legislature of Arizona. Did you know it's illegal to appear Mexican in that border state? Yep, institutionalized racism is back, assuming it ever left. Between this latest insanity and that of their gun laws, I can just see lynchings and execution-style shootings becoming commonplace. And surely it will only be a malign coincidence that all the victims will have Spanish names, black hair, dark eyes and brown complexions!

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16. Alfred Fucking Mackey. Yeah, great idea--have everyone running around armed and paranoid, while the local police get cut and cut and cut, instead of being properly funded so they can do their job. (Corporations must have their tax breaks, after all!) This is "small government" for you, with a vengeance. And in the end, it could turn into small populace, too. I'm with Bart: if you don't believe in government, move to Somalia, which is government-free. And good luck to you, whitey.

17. And while we're on the theme of big guns and small government, how about Charles Fucking Riley? His "solution" to the problem of underfunded police and prisons: Get a shotgun and be sure to kill criminals. That way, everyone gets to be a murderer, oh joy! Shoot, who needs cops or jails anymore?

18. John Fucking Nolte. Let's let him explain why he and his ilk are all such fucking wankers:

We're dumb, we're racist... blah, blah, blah.

There you have it, folks, straight from the horse's ass. Thanks, John!

Oh, and here's some more fun. Enjoy bad writing and worse thinking:

You can cut our taxes to zero -- hell, you can gift us with millions in union bribes and make-work jobs -- but for as long as this socialist rampage rampages on, I and every member of the Tea Party will be back, right here fighting you every inch of the way and counting down the days until November of 2010 and 2012.

Wow, what rampage-rampaging bombast. Does he have any idea how stupid he sounds, blowing that crypto-racist dog-whistle? Anyone who knows what socialism actually is, knows that Obama's no socialist (although socialists like me wish he were one; the US could use a good socialist president, instead of an endless array of corporatist lapdogs whose only distinction appears to be whether they wear red or blue collars.) Meanwhile, let's have a poignant reminder of what zero taxes would not give these spoiled wanks:

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Zero roads, zero public infrastructure, zero electricity, and zero public order. Your zero tax dollars at work, zero-brains!

19. And yes, these fucking wanks ARE racist.

20. Sarah Fucking Palin. What is it this week? Oh yeah, she's a Prayer Warrior. Also dork-sadded.

21. Howard Fucking Kurtz. Mindless turd starts out all right...

The political finger-pointing over the Oklahoma City tragedy began even before all the victims had been buried.

...but then he veers off course. The finger-pointing that started immediately after the bombing of the Murrah Building in OKC was at Muslims! And it came largely from the right-wing whores of the media. Disingenuous of Howie to forget that, but then again, he's one of them. So of course he'll write "fair and balanced" drivel like this, instead...

Inflammatory rhetoric can be dangerous. There is no shortage of nuts out there. And yet if we tar with too broad a brush, we unfairly taint those who stridently criticize the administration in power as being somehow responsible for violence. Why did that pilot, ticked off at the Internal Revenue Service, fly his plane into the IRS building in Austin? Is it fair to blame an incident like that on cable or radio talk shows?

There is no question that the Murrah Building bombing helped revive Clinton's political fortunes. He was down in the polls after the GOP takeover of Congress. The day before, he was reduced to proclaiming that the president was still "relevant." Clinton's skillful handling of that moment of national grief sparked the beginning of a turnaround. I don't believe he attacked those who "spread hate" just to score political points, but the benefits of going after right-wing talkers can't have escaped the White House.

...which is pure, irresponsible apologia for those he knows, in his heart, to be behind the latest wave of right-wing, white, Christian domestic terrorism. Just as they were in OKC fifteen years ago.

You whited sepulchre, Howie.

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22. Scott Fucking Brison. Yes, he's back on the shit list, and for the same reason as first time: his irrational bullishness (and bullshit) regarding Colombia. When 75% of the world's trade union deaths over the past year come from one country, you just know that country has a MAJOR labor-relations problem. Crapitalism isn't working out well, so now they're resorting to murder. But hey, why bother with trivial matters like that? Look over there--big bad Chavecito! Boogaboogabooga!

Oh, shut UP, Scott. You know damn well that Chavecito habitually takes the unionists' side (recent, representative example here), and hasn't murdered a one. So hold your damn fool tongue. And quit hanging out with the Colombian oligarchs. You're an embarrassment to Canada already. Do you want to become a liability, too? Tory Lite does not a good Liberal make.

23. John Fucking Ensign. I shall endeavor to squeeze out a few small crocodile tears...damn...sorry, I can't. He thoroughly deserves his ignominious come-uppance. Would that all the C Street bastards got such a spectacular one.

24. Charles Fucking McVety. Newsflash: There's nothing wrong with being gay, and neither is there anything wrong with teaching kids as early as possible to understand and accept this fact. It might even prevent "gay" being used as a playground insult, something I'm sure chafes Chuck's ass pretty damn bad...

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This is probably the only "education" on sexual orientation that he would accept.

25. Clay Fucking Yarborough. He says he's uncomfortable with gays and Muslims holding public office in Florida? Well, I am uncomfortable with bigoted fucking idiots holding public office ANYWHERE. Gee, Clay, connect the fucking dots!

26. John Fucking Roberts. Remind me again: How did someone so blindingly ignorant even pass his law school entrance exams, much less become the "learned" chief justice of the SCOTUS? I've never used a pager, and yet even I know the difference between it and e-mail!

27. Elie Fucking Wiesel. Wanktimonious wankitude can strike anywhere, anytime...but in Jerusalem, it strikes almost continuously. And the people who live there are getting damn sick and tired of it, even if it does come from be-medalled "human rights" (note quotes) fronters.

28. The Fucking State Senate of Oklahoma. Did no one ever tell them that for a woman who is pregnant as a result of rape, a forced vaginal ultrasound is exactly like being raped all over again--or do they know, but just not care? Ditto all the collection of private data. Yeah, tell me again that your "pro-life" laws aren't really just all about corralling and slut-shaming the women. This is so going to a courtroom challenge, kiddies.

29. Jimmie Fucking Walker. And believe me, it took everything I had not to spell his last name W-A-N-K-E-R. Anyone who thinks the notably racist Coultergeist is dyn-o-mite is a servile fool. And one big tool.

30. Scott Fucking Roeder. Can't do the time? Don't do the crime. And don't fucking whine!

31. Don Fucking Blankenship. Yo, asshole: You own the coal company, not the employees. And you do NOT have the right to deny them time off to attend their buddies' funerals (which you really ought to pay for, by rights, since you are responsible for their deaths.) Intimidation is an ugly word, as are the words mafia boss, but I think there's more than enough justification for using them here.

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32. Fucking Standard and Poors. What's this about Massey Coal stock being a "buy"? Are you people out of your friggin' minds? Do you want to encourage bad corporate governance? Or do you just not give a shit what they do, as long as it makes money (for someone other than workers)

33. Fucking WellPoint. Way to make the case for single-payer healthcare, or socialized medicine--on the backs of women with breast cancer!

34. Thomas Fucking Paprocki. Well, this is original: when looking for people to blame amid all the Catholic sex scandals, why bother blaming the perps? Just lay it on the original scapegoat--SATAN!

35. The fucking settlers of Gush Etzion. Pumping raw sewage into the vineyards of Palestinian farmers whose sole livelihood is those vines, is just fucking disgusting. And yes, all the settlers are to blame; that shit came from all of them, no matter who was the coward that opened the valve.

36. Rush Fucking Limbaugh. Of course he thinks Bill Clinton bombed OKC. Why not? He's the Pigman, he gets to come up with whatever cockamamie conspiracy theories he likes. And of course, to put the blame where it belongs would be to point the finger back at himself and his own fascist ilk.

37. Terry Fucking Lakin. Birther faces court martial. About fucking time, too.

38. Mike Fucking Huckabee. Children are not puppies? Well, duh. So who said gays adopt just because they want pets? My gay best friend and his partner have two sons, a cat, and a dog. I'd say they know full well how to distinguish between a pet and a person!

39. Kevin Fucking Gaudet. The truth is too "inflammatory" for some pissy little wimps out West to handle? Too fucking bad! Reality is not going to retailor itself to fit conservatives' "standards".

40. Paul Fucking Elam. Newsflash: A male-to-female sex change is NOT "castration". There is a lot more to it than just "a pathological hatred of a particular sex, in this case male", and it is NOT the product of a mental illness, either. And "male studies" is not an "unwanted penis", it's the academic glorification of institutionalized sexism. But I don't expect a dumbass like this writer to understand those subtleties. He's one of those guys who think that feminism promotes hatred of men (where? where? I haven't seen any.)

And that about wraps it up for this week. Did I miss anyone? No? Well, let's revisit Chachi for a moment...

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Buonanotte, e vaffanculo!

Don't be too surprised...

...if someone in Europe tries to blame the volcanic ash problem on a scapegoat who couldn't possibly have done it:

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"How much longer is Chávez going to screw us?"

(In all seriousness, some people really ARE stupid enough to suggest things like this.)

April 23, 2010

Festive Left Friday Blogging: So much hottitude, all in one week

First up, we have Chavecito in a spiff-tacular new uniform, waving to the crowds:

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I'm told this has something to do with some holiday or other that Venezuela celebrated this past week.

And then, there was this little shindig in Cochabamba, hosted by Evo:

...something to do with climate change.

And if that's not enough leftist hottitude for you, and you've got some time to spare and can understand Spanish, click here and see someone downright Ecuadorable being interviewed by VTV reporters on Contragolpe. He's in town for some ALBA summit or other.

April 22, 2010

Teabonics: The Video

An illustrated lexicon of hardcore stupidity. Enjoy!

April 21, 2010

When Copyright Goes Bad

15-minute documentary on the abuse of copyright by big industry, and the clampdown on creative engagement.

Taxing the patience of a nation

And no, I'm not referring to the gummint. I'm referring to these tea-tards here:

Note the doctrinaire (but ill-informed) rhetoric, the crazy accusations, the deer-in-the-headlights looks of a lot of them when pressed for specifics. These are people who are very angry about things they haven't thought through. Be sure to watch for former comedienne Victoria Jackson in a very sad and unamusing turn as a retarded rightard, and enjoy the ironic spectacle provided by a bug-eyed British lord (at a "patriotic American" rally? In a Stars 'n' Stripes tie??? Remind me what the revolution was about, again...)

Saddest of all is the woman in the cranberry turtleneck, who really should not be there. She's been deluded into thinking the government is out to rob public services, when its job (as she herself acknowledges) is to provide them. And what's up with the Mexican guy speaking out against immigration? And the token black dude rapping? He's rolling out the astroturf while claiming not to. How far through the Looking Glass ARE these people? And do they not see the extreme irony of their position?

One thing is for sure: the educational system is indeed badly underfunded if it turns out sorry people like these. And civics classes are more desperately needed now than at any previous time in history. If it weren't for all the wars and imperialism, they'd all get one hell of an education.

Whether they wanted it or not.

April 20, 2010

Fascism gets funky

Here's a little something to mess with your heads:

Ah, if only ol' Adolf had been a disco singer, instead of a genocidal meth-head. I might even have wished him a happy birthday for realz today...

I hereby wish everyone have a merry Marijuanukkah.

And if pot's not your thing, here are some sobering links for you on the fascism of today:

Noam Chomsky says the US is strikingly like late Weimar Germany...and he's old enough to remember that era, so you better heed him. And get rid of any Repugnazis and Vichy Dems you have lying around, come election day.

Teabag TV: coming soon to a boob-tube near you? Let's hope not! Anyway, isn't one FUX Snooze more than enough? (Or two, if you count the Chicken Noodle Network, as I do?)

Turdblossom washes his hands after every visit to the loo. Or every crucifixion of dirty hippie Jewish carpenters (same diff). Good to know, but he forgets that when you're full of shit, and you fling feces, it also gets under your nails. Wonder when he's gonna have HIS Macbeth moment.

And how's this for irony: On the 15th anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing, and also the anniversary of Hitler's birth, right-wing nutters are still up to their same old shenanigans. Does everyone forget that McVeigh got his terrorist training from the US government, while he was in the army? And do they also forget that "a well-regulated militia" is, according to Article II, Section 2 of the US constitution itself, ruled by the president and not some bunch of Little Hitlers playing army in the woods? I guess they do. They also forget that the US military isn't so well-regulated if it can't--or doesn't want to--weed out the Mussolini Piccolomini wanna-bes.

Bummer. Now I think I really need a brownie.

A spectacular photo album that you just have to see

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Photo by Rebekka Guðleifsdóttir.

A friend of mine linked this album on his Facebook page. It's all photos of the volcano in Iceland erupting, and they're all great, but the one above particularly caught my eye. It's got so much going for it that the volcano almost seems like an afterthought: the delicate pastel tones of the twilit sky, the marvelous herd of shaggy horses with their blazing chestnut coats, and even the unruly grass all around them (which is much more detailed in the original; I had to scale this one down to fit the page). It's a startling reminder that while Iceland is small and often overlooked, there is WAY more to it than what makes the news.

April 19, 2010

Memo to the Miami media: Can you PLEASE, just for once, NOT drag Chavecito into everything?

Like, for example, this horrid headline of yours:

"Hugo Chavez-Loving Boxer Edwin Valero Kills Wife, Hangs Himself in Jail"

There is so much wrong with this picture, and no, I'm not talking about the late El Inca's chest tattoo. You could have made the headline simpler and more accurate at the same time by shortening it down to "Boxer Edwin Valero Kills Wife, Hangs Himself in Jail". His support for his president (who, need I remind you, is democratically elected, and exceptionally peaceful) has nothing to do with this tragedy at all. And to throw that in the headline there, as you Miami New Times twits irresponsibly did, is to suggest erroneously that his politics are the root cause of violent crime.

So. If Edwin Valero's politics aren't the cause of his violent behavior and precipitous jailhouse suicide, what is? Well, here's something that might offer some clues. Watch the video. It's about a pro wrestler named Chris Benoit, who sustained numerous concussions (and brain damage) as a result of head-hits in the ring. Like Valero, he suffered a drastic change in personality, which led to problems with addiction. He became increasingly violent and erratic. His condition deteriorated rapidly, literally within months. And in the end, he wound up killing his wife and disabled son before taking his own life.

Brain damage (there's even a medical term for this specific type) was found to be the likeliest cause of all the violence and tragedy that ended Chris Benoit's career and life. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if Edwin Valero's case panned out the same. Both men made a professional career out of hitting and being hit. And hits to the head are common in both sports, as are head injuries and even fatalities. I'm old enough to remember what happened to Korean boxer Duk Koo Kim:

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Duk Koo Kim, KO'd by Ray "Boom-Boom" Mancini, 1982. Kim died of brain injuries four days later.

But somehow, I never hear anyone mentioning Chris Benoit's politics. Or Duk Koo Kim's. So why pick on Edwin Valero? Just because of a flag tattoo with a president's face?

The anti-Chavista media really have lost their fucking marbles. Way to discredit yourselves, guys. And way to make cheap points on a tragedy which is athletic and personal, not political. Have you no shame?

Why hate speech isn't free speech, in a nutshell

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This is where hate speech invariably, inevitably leads: innocent people maimed and killed in bomb blasts.

Does it look like freedom to you?

The Freeway Blogger strikes again!

And this time, he's struck the I-65, northbound from Indianapolis:

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Yes, I know who's responsible for this. And no, dear authorities, I'm not gonna tell you, and you won't make me. First of all, he's not doing any harm with this sign. And secondly, he's just exercising his First Amendment rights. You know, freedom of speech? That thing that often gets abused by warmongering wingnuts? Anyhow, he knows what to do with it. And it's NOT a crime.

PS: My friend informs me that the original Freewayblogger has picked up on this already. Super!

Stupid Sex Tricks: One big rubber

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Well, as long as it keeps the Likud-dicks in...

April 18, 2010

Music for a Sunday: Won't go living in the past...

...but I believe that love can last:

There's a lot to love about this song, which is my favorite of theirs. They have a lot of ones that are more overtly raunchy, or more overtly rough-and-tumble. This one stands out for its sense of restraint. It's sexy and badass in a sunny, laid-back, off-beat, absolutely note-perfect way. See if it doesn't have you from hello, too.

April 17, 2010

Wankers of the Week: Spring wingnuts edition

Ah, spring...wingnuts in full bloom. I don't know who those women in the video are, but the one in yellow (how fitting!) has obviously disguised herself. And no wonder: she's uttering death threats. Crude, cowardly, nasty death threats. Death by torture, no less. See how sad it is when you stand for nothing and fall for anything? You have to disguise your identity so your embarrassing mistake doesn't come back to haunt you...like, say, at a job interview.

Anyhow. On with the weekly wankapedia. Most of these wingnuts do have names, and I hope their shame haunts them for as long as they live.

1. and 2. Preston Fucking Manning and Allan Fucking Gregg. Whenever a conservative politician teams up with a conservative pollster, look for wankage to ensue. And in this case, it's the founding fucker of the "Reform" party looking to social-engineer with a little help from his SupposiTory pollster pal. Won't work; Canada is a LEFT-leaning country, and has been for decades. Go figure, we like what progress has given us, and we do not think the age of the US robber barons is anything worth calling "golden"!

3. Haley Fucking Barbour. Last week it was Bob Fucking McDonnell, denying the importance of slavery in a month devoted to the history of a confederacy whose sole reason for existence was, well, you guessed it. Don't any of these proud southern governors know their own history? Or is there some kind of active obscurantist agenda going on? (I know which option I'm voting for.)

4. Carl Fucking Paladino. Surprise! Teabaggers who "agree 100% with conservative values" are bestial, porn-wanking racists. Well, all right, NOT a surprise in the slightest. And neither will this one's political losses be. They just can't come soon enough!

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5. Giacomo Fucking Babini. Once more the ugly old "Christ-killer" meme rears its warty head. Yeah, smooth move...when it comes to pedophiles and other sexual abusers in the Catholic church, just blame the "Zionist conspiracy" of the Jews!

6. Felipe Fucking Arizmendi. Smoother move: Blame porn and the TV.

7. Bernardo Fucking Alvarez. Even smoother move: Blame the slutty kids.

8. Tarcisio Fucking Bertone. Smoothest move of all: Blame the fags!

9. The Fucking Vatican. Ringo Starr doesn't give a piss for its "absolution". And in light of all the sex scandals (and blame-gaming), who can fault him for that?

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10. Don Fucking Blankenship. Yes, His Wankenship is back for the second week in a row. Why? Because he not only disdains safety regs, he also thinks environmental concerns around global warming are, and I quote, "silly". Even funnier, he's scared to death of little green people--get that man a straitjacket! Not that we expected anything different from a lunatic swinebag who made his ill-gotten bundle from coal, but still. Crazy people have no business running a business, don't you agree?

11. Sonny Fucking Thomas. I do not think the words the Bee Gees used mean what he thinks they mean. Or what he later claimed was just a malign coincidence. Also, that White Pride shirt makes him look like...well, like he just made poopy in his pants. PS: Sorry, Sonny, but what has been seen cannot be unseen.

12. and 13. Mary Fucking Dawson and Gail Fucking Shea. Are they in bed together? If not, why so hush-hush?

14. Sarah Fucking Palin. So fucking stupid, even 60% of the teabags don't want her for president. And these are people dumb enough to take Wankenship's money for their rallies. That's pretty damn pathetic, no?

15., 16. and 17. Gary Fucking Lunn, Judith Fucking Larocque and Ward Fucking Elcock. So, this is what the Tories did during their three-month vacation prorogation of Parliament. They spent our money like drunken sailors on luxurious Olympic perks, just as we knew they would. Hey people, you planning on paying any of that back? Because the rest of the country is certainly planning on getting it back.

18. Stephen Fucking Jaeger. Facebook stalkers aren't just a joke anymore. Some, like this one, are all too real.

19. Rod Fucking Bruinooge. Yes, he's back on the wank-list, and back for another black eye from me. Rod, unless you also include coerced childbirth (which is way more common than coerced abortion) in your bill, you can kiss that motherfucker GOODBYE! (And your ass, too, while you're at it. Bend over, dude.)

20. Whoever the fuck joined this dumb-ass Facebook group. Or who would contemplate joining. Rape is NOT fun. And not funny, either.

21. Joe Fucking Lieberman. Someone please tell him that the Paliness is irrelevant. Even the teabags don't think she's qualified to be president of a pop stand, much less a country. Come to think of it, neither is he...and he's irrelevant, too. Hey, how 'bout that coinkidink?

22. Andrew Fucking Breitbart. I have no idea what he's trying to say. But it sure sounds ugly, and nasty, and like he's calling for an uprising. Also like he's trying hard not to hiccup or slur. If only he would try hard to think instead of drink, he might actually find he has something real to say...and it would probably come out sounding something like, "Damn, was I really THAT stupid when I was drinking?" And all his AA buddies would say something like "Yes...yes, you were. And you're damn lucky they didn't arrest you for it."

23. and 24. Charles and David Fucking Koch. Their money finances teabaggers and "libertarian" (note the quotes) stink tanks so they can claim that Obama is the next Castro, Stalin and Mao all wadded up into one. Yup, that's wingnut welfare; wealth redistribution at its "finest" (again, note quotes). But wait, it gets better. Know how the Fucking Koch Brothers came by the inherited fortune that finances all this crapitalist claptrap? Their grandpa sold oil to good ol' Joe Stalin himself. Guess it's not communism when crapitalists do it!

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25. Faytene Fucking Kryskow. Until today, I had never heard of her. Wish I still hadn't. She's an awful, sticky-sweet God-botherer who has ambitions of "controlling the media", and expects us all (especially us women) to stick our necks in the noose in Jeezus' name. Yuppers, she's a yucko. But damn, doesn't her name just so lend itself to jokes about hair-care products made from hydrogenated cottonseed oil?

26. Nathanael Mark Fucking Plourde. Bad enough that he plotted to kill a woman (by beating) he didn't know how to break up with. Worse still, he got said woman pregnant first. Hey asshole, if you didn't want a relationship with her, why'd you fuck her? Is the word "no", or the phrase "no, thanks", not in your vocabulary? Or does the little head always have the last word with you feckless morons? Anyway, thanks to you and your dick (and your dickishness), the Fetus Fetishists now have their knicks in a knot, and are trying to sneak a back-door anti-abortion bill through the House of Commons--under the pretext of "protecting women", which it wouldn't do worth a dime. But damn, it's great red meat for the woman-haters, isn't it? Thanks a pantload, you gormless murdering fucker.

27. Andrea Fucking Lafferty. Only in the sick, deviant mind of a right-wing "family values" pervert would a bill forbidding gender- and sexual-orientation-based discrimination at work be construable as carte blanche for sexual molestation (and various other ooky practices.) Given how much these "family values" types harp on the subject, and with what energy, I have no choice but to conclude that they are all fantasizing about all those things, all the time. And it makes me want to protect my nearest and dearest...from THEM.

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And finally, The Fucking Teabaggers. Yes, all of you. Have you checked your taxes lately? Don't come back here, or kvetch about your president, until you do. Better still, don't kvetch at all. You have nothing to be angry about, yet you're angry all the time! You plainly don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Maybe you should just stop talking. As the old saying goes, better to keep your mouth shut and have people wonder if you're an idiot, than to open it and remove all doubt.

Goodnight, and get fucked.

PS: Didn't see this until after I published the entry. What say we toss Rush Fucking Limbaugh down a volcano, as a sacrifice to Pele? Or would She reject him onaccounta he's too old, fat, blemished and stupid?

Pardon me, I just HAD to share this.

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Crunchy nugget for thought: That erupting volcano in Iceland may represent a headache for travellers, a hardship for flight crews, and a profit loss for airlines. But it's also an unexpected, if temporary, boon as far as global warming goes.

If we want to become less dependent on fossil fuels, I'd say spending less time up in the air is a good place to start.

April 16, 2010

Teh Heterostoopid: Well, at least he's creative with the excuses.

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Srsly, dude...you expect us to believe that a woman with no arms and legs was going out on you? And could choke you to death with her stumps?

I'll give you full marks for imagination, but damn, you have to learn to strain credibility a bit less if you're gonna make shit up and be believed.

Teh Heterostoopid: Unfit Fathers: We haz them.

Exhibit A:

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Um, yeah, he's the awesome guy with assholes for kids? Riiiiiight. If those kids are assholes, they learned it from someone. Monkey see, monkey do...

And let's just pray that this book cover doesn't describe the real situation, because it sure smells like that to me:

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He says the kids are a drain on his resources, but I suspect it's really that stuff in his glass.

Quotable: John Steinbeck on capitalism

"There is a crime here that goes beyond denunciation. There is a sorrow here that weeping cannot symbolize. There is a failure here that topples all our success. The fertile earth, the straight tree rows, the sturdy trunks, and the ripe fruit. And children dying of pellagra must die because a profit cannot be taken from an orange."

--John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath

Festive Left Friday Blogging: Wielding the Sword of Bolívar

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Srsly, doesn't Chavecito do it awfully well?

If you're wondering what the occasion was, here ya go. Enjoy!

April 15, 2010

The CIA and the Nazis

A 45-minute documentary on the CIA's practice of hiring old Nazi war criminals, both as spies and rocket scientists for what was to become NASA. This was in direct contravention of then-US president Harry Truman's orders to capture and imprison all Nazi officers and bring them to trial. In short, the CIA was a rogue organization from the beginning, willing to break the law for its own ends.

Quotable: Patrick Stewart on violence against women

When a well-spoken actor who is known for his smooth delivery has difficulty breaking into a subject and talking about it, you know it's close to home. In the case of "Captain Picard", it's not only close, it is IN the home. Not to be missed!

Learn from a 12-year-old

Meet Frankie Hughes and her mother, Renée Espeland, as they talk with Amy and Juan on Democracy Now. And then ask yourself: How could two unarmed persons--one, a tiny little minor--possibly be so threatening to an Iowa senator that they were charged with trespassing, and in the mother's case, "contributing to the delinquency of a minor"? And how on Earth is being pro-peace, and using one's right to free speech for a good cause, a "delinquency"?

Stupid Sex Tricks: Random stupid and senseless sex tricks

I just love assortments, don't you?

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What exactly is this stick-man sign saying? My guess is "watch out for buttsex".

And hey, let's hope something positive comes out of the War On Terra:

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And that this isn't it:

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But hey, you never know. What with all the religious zealots now running loose in "liberated" Iraq (now that that evil, secular Saddam is dead), I wouldn't be surprised if some cleric pronounces a fatwa saying that anyone caught looking at these be blinded for it.

April 14, 2010

Short 'n' Stubby: Ms. Manx pinks up

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Happy Anti-Bullying Day! Ms. Manx may not be wearing pink (unless you count the tip of her nose), but that doesn't mean she ain't thinking it. So, here are your pink throughts for the day...

First up, an intriguing history of the gendering of pink (and blue). Did you know that pink used to be recommended for boys, and blue for girls? It's true! So if anyone tells you that dudes don't wear pink, send them that link.

The American Academy of Pediatrics takes on a bunch of Christ-killing bullies (who push an anti-gay agenda) and whups the bejeezus out of them.

The Pentagon has finally decided to do something about all the white supremacist bullies entering the military in order to gain weapons and tactical training for the mayhem they plan to unleash against their own country. Took 'em long enough; was Tim McVeigh not a big enough wake-up call for them?

Let us also not forget Norma Scarborough, who, along with Dr. Henry Morgentaler, took on the anti-choice bullies (otherwise known as lawmakers) here in Canada, and won.

All the bluffing and bullying the Catholic church hierarchy is doing right now when it comes to sexual abuse is nothing new to us Canucks. We still remember residential schools and the Mount Cashel orphanage. And we are still not impressed with the way those were handled. The church may as well face facts--it is running out of rugs to sweep things under, and those bulges are getting awfully big!

Have I mentioned yet today how much I love Richard Colvin for taking on the bullies on Parliament Hill when it comes to the Afghanistan torture scandal? They're trying to sweep him under the rug too, but the man refuses to be swept. And when he sees the broom coming at him, he pushes back.

And what is this "enhanced interrogation" shit of which everybody speaks? It smells like bullying to me. Very, very bad bullying. As does the way soldiers are being treated for speaking out against it.

Also, while we're at it, what's up with all these armed nutters making threats? That's bullying right there!

But not all verbal bullying is so obvious. Some of the worst is very subtle indeed. In fact, it's more about what's not being said than about what is. One comforting upshot: the more you try to silence them, the more people talk...and push for the truth.

And here's another comforting story: Orly Taitz's birther bullying is being rebuffed, well, everywhere.

Finally, here's a little song from Tom Petty for all you fighters out there. Make it your motto!

>

April 12, 2010

Stupid Sex Tricks: I recommend Astroglide

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As for how Richard gets shortened to "Dick", well...that one's lost in the mists of antiquity.

Short 'n' Stubby: Venezuela Electric

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Ms. Manx has three interesting linkies for y'all...all about Venezuela and how it plans to deal with its electrical needs, both present and future. And one dumb-as-fuck one, just for "fairness" and "balance".

First up, Chavecito has extended the current state of emergency and rationing for another 60 days, while the country waits for the summer rainy season to start and fill up the Guri Dam reservoir. The Guri is responsible for at least 70% of the country's total needs, so it's vital to get that one up to scratch. The rains normally start in May. The reason for the extension? To make sure everything's fully recuperated. Meanwhile, the government has put $5 billion (US) into thermoelectric generation, with the intention that it account for half of all power generation in Venezuela in 5 years. Thermoelectric plants have already come online in several Venezuelan states, so that's good news.

And there's more good news, although it's for the longer term: By 2025, Venezuela is expected to draw at least 10% of its electricity from windpower. This would put it on a par with several European nations, most notably Germany.

And on a local level, solar energy generation is growing in the Andean regions of Venezuela, which are more difficult to connect to a conventional grid. And yes, there's a government program for that: "Sembrando Luz", or "Sowing Light" (a spinoff of the old slogan, "sembrar el petróleo", "to sow the oil"--meaning, the investment of oil revenues in public projects.)

Oh yeah, and Rory Carroll still haz Teh Stoopid. So what's new? If he ever manages to crawl out of those tony wine bars where he sups with the oppos, and gets it together long enough to write something intelligent, Ms. Manx will be truly surprised.

April 11, 2010

Stupid Sex Tricks: Also, BOOBIES.

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Do I really need to comment on this? Nah, didn't think so.

Music for a Sunday: Be yourself, no matter what they say...

I'm not a Sting fan (although I'll admit I have a couple of The Police's old records); sometimes the sheer size of his ego grates and annoys. But this low-key masterpiece still resonates with me (and don't miss Quentin Crisp in the cameo role.)

It also seems very appropriate after the week I've had.

April 10, 2010

Wankers of the Week: April Tools!

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Ah, April...time to get back into the garden and start tilling and digging. But first, you have to haul out your tools. And these wankers are not the sharpest tools in the shed:

1. John Fucking Kyl. Corporate tool par excellence. To all you right-wingers out there who voted GOP because you thought these bigwigs would stand up for the freedom of little guys like you, you can now burn your voter registrations along with all your silly illusions. All they really care about is the corporations, who do not give a damn about you, never have, and never will. Sticking up for the little guy is "overly ideological", didn't you know? Stupid peons.

2. Rex Fucking Rammell. Another gun-toting tea-doucher who apparently thinks it's okay to hunt humans, as long as they're dark-skinned and/or democratically elected. I would hope that such sentiments (and his frankly disturbing "militia" ties to the Hutaree terrorists) would hurt his chances of ever being elected himself, but he's from Idaho. Hello? Aryan Fucking Nations country? Hell, they'll practically canonize him there.

3. Tiger Fucking Woods. It's hurtful and ugly enough to lie your ass off so you can boink a whole bunch of blondes who are not the blonde you married. But to take a steaming dump on the head of your own kindergarten teacher, claiming she "basically did nothing to stop" a racist incident that never happened, while you were clawing your way to the top in the image of a squeaky-clean guy shattering the color barrier? That's just low. And it's also bringing the racist teabaggers out of the woods in droves, pointing fingers and saying that it's in the nature of Those People to lie, and it proves that Obama and John Lewis and God only knows who all else are...well, you get the picture. Smooth fucking move, Ex-Lax.

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PS: Exhuming your dad is pretty damn low, too. All I could think of while watching that ad was how he taught you everything you know, all right...about philandering.

4. John Fucking McCain. So mavericky, he's now NOT a maverick, and claiming he never was one, even though he's on record as saying he was one! I have no choice now but to conclude that "maverick" means "crazy old right-wing flippity-flopper".

5. Rush Fucking Limbaugh. All that racism you've been assiduously fanning over the past--how many decades have you been polluting the airwaves now, Rush?--is suddenly fake. Uh-huh. I'm still waiting for you to move to Costa Rica, Pigman.

6. Dan Fucking Quayle. Remember when he was moralistically scolding Murphy Brown--a fictional TV character--for doing what Repugs want all pregnant-out-of-wedlock women to do, namely stay preggers even if it's really a bad idea? He just outdid himself for Teh Stoopid. And that's pretty damn hard, considering he's the man who can't spell potato.

7. Sean Fucking Hannity. Who the hell idolizes an executed domestic terrorist? The Baby Jeezus does! I knew he was brain-dead, but this really takes the biscuit.

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7 1/2. Anyone who'd cheer at being likened to an executed domestic terrorist by the Baby Jeezus is also a fucking idiot. Quite possibly a bigger one than himself, and that's really saying something.

8. These fucking horndogs here. Feminism? What's that? Oh yeah, BOOBIES!!!

9. David Fucking Brooks. Yes, he makes the list again this week, this time because of his inanities about "moral materialism", whatever the fuck THAT's supposed to mean. From the context, I infer that it means crapitalism must be good because it clutters our lives up with...stuff, I guess. If that sounds insufferably vague and idiotic, it's because Brooksy's insufferable vagueness and idiocy got to me. Sorry.

10. Scott Fucking Southworth. Teaching kids how to protect themselves against STDs and unwanted pregnancy leads to rape? Only in the minds of puritans. In reality, it leads to lower rates of teen pregnancy and STDs, and even delayed onset of sexual activity. Oh, the horror! Safer sex means safer kids, imagine that!

11. Bob Fucking McDonnell. How could something which was the whole cause of the Confederate secession be omitted from mention in a farcical "History Month" dedicated to Confederate history? Well might he apologize--after the fact--but I think this omission was deliberate. There's been a lot of right-wing obscurantist rewriting of history in the US South lately. And let's not forget the Gubnor's own damning declaration, earlier, that slavery was "not significant enough". Hello? The right to legally OWN OTHER HUMAN BEINGS isn't sufficiently "significant" to mention? Way to minimize the real Confederate history, you cracker wanker.

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12. All the self-righteous fucking wankers who organized and attended that private prom in Mississippi. There are no words ugly enough to adequately describe you or your actions. So I'll just say this: I hope that those who are not sincerely ashamed of their actions and/or making amends already, may you all get shunned, rejected and laughed at wherever else you all go, for all the rest of your days. May you get back a thousandfold what you dished out to those seven young people you so spitefully decided to exclude. Maybe then you'll get a taste of the hell that ostracized people have to live in, every day of their lives. There's still time to repent and make amends, of course. And if you are REAL Christians, as you claim to be, that's what you will do. No ifs, ands or buts.

And while you're at it, you might also want to make amends to this former classmate of yours, who I'm sure would welcome the knowledge that some people have thought twice and decided to come out on the side of humanity.

13. Rahim Fucking Jaffer. I don't know what's funniest here--the booze, the coke, the drunk-driving, the shady bidness buddy...or the busty hookers (read: IMPLANTS). Oh wait, I forgot the REAL funniest part: Your big mouth. And that of your hooker-loving pal.

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Sucks to be YOU, dude.

14. Helena Fucking Guergis. Wow, where to start with Mrs. Rahim Fucking Jaffer? There is just so much hinkitude about this woman, it boggles the mind. Tantrums in airports, million dollar mansions with no apparent down payment, phony letters of support, hubby caught with coke in his pocket after a boozy dinner with a crooked pal and busty hookers...and we may not have heard the worst of it yet! An RCMP probe promises to be juicy, but it's the final graf in this story that really grabbed me:

Mr. Jaffer, once a young star in the Conservative caucus, lost his Edmonton seat in the 2008 election. He married Ms. Guergis the next day.

Dang, girl, how's it feel to know you were the fallback position? I wouldn't stand for that, but then, I'm a real feminist.

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Sucks to be YOU, too.

15. Bill Fucking Donahue. Dumbest. Quote. EVER. (Not that anyone expects better out of this disgusting old rape-apologist.)

16. And speaking of disgusting people, how about that Newt Fucking Gingrich? His latest damp squib: Obama is too lean and fit to be president! Well, of course he would be. Everyone knows that Newty's ideal candidate would have been old, white and heart-diseased, like The Big Dick. Or his own corpulent self.

17. Stephen Fucking Harper. Yes, Harpo's at it again. His latest bit of shitbaggery: Not allowing bathroom breaks for female reporters. At this rate, you just wish one of them would squat over his shoes and show him how she really feels about that.

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18. Whoever the fuck writes the National Fucking Pest's fucking idiotic editorials. Fortunately, they got set straight by a reader who pointed out just how fucking idiotic they are. Not that it will make them do any better next time 'round, alas.

19. Sarah Fucking Palin. Yeah, we kind of guessed she wouldn't be big on science. She's stupider than shit, after all. But "snake oil"? Damn, girl, you need to re-examine the roots of your fundie religion. There's an awful lot of snake-handling in there, and I suspect it's got a lot to do with oil, too.

20. Bristol Fucking Palin. Yes, she's fair game now that she's thrust herself--AND HER BABY--into the limelight as a spokesperson for abstinence. Bristol speaking for abstinence is like screwing for chastity...oh wait, it IS screwing for chastity! She's fucking with our heads. In the name of chastity.

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Like mother, like daughter. Wankishness perpetuates itself on down the generations.

21. Bart Fucking Stupak. Best thing he ever did was retire. Pity he couldn't do it BEFORE playing hell with healthcare reform, and using women's bodies as his bargaining chip. Motherfucker, literally.

22. The Fucking "Male Studies" wankers. Not only do they hate women, they also haven't the first clue what feminism is all about. If they think it's about hating men, I have sad news for them. I'm a feminist, and I LIKE men. It's sexists--and those who use bogus "science" to justify sexism--that I cannot abide. And if they have a problem with that, they're gonna find themselves in real trouble trying to get dates to the Formal.

23. Don Fucking Blankenship. Rhymes with Wankenship, and that's no coincidence. He should be in jail for murder, but what do you bet he'll get off scot-free...and maybe even vote himself a tidy raise while he's at it? Because I'm sure he doesn't give a shit that his lobbying for ever-laxer safety laws are directly responsible for the deaths of all those miners in HIS filthy holes.

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And finally, to two very special little boys who obviously get to school on a short bus. First, to "Fergy", a.k.a. "ruralcounsel", who was kind enough to leave me his e-mail when he made poopy here. You're a goddamned sorry excuse even for a coward, but fortunately, I won't let you hide behind the wall of anonymity that is the Internet. I'm gonna make sure everyone gets to reach you and share with you their love. Maybe they'll teach you something that you clearly don't want to learn. And perhaps the Shoreham Telephone Company in Middlebury, Vermont, would care to hear how you've been abusing their service? That, too, can be arranged...so don't try my patience.

And then there's Jake Fucking Pearson. You picked the perfect place to out yourself there, dude. You are most certainly a wanker! And a BULLY, too! Tsk, tsk. Must be a closet masochist to ask for it like that.

Pity I don't play your games, Jakey. Had you bothered to read my About page, you would have seen that I operate here on the baseball rule: Three strikes, you're out. You had three chances to be rational and intelligent, and you blew them all. Actually, considering that your first post here was nothing but insults, you can count yourself lucky I didn't flush it from my spam filter automatically, as such abusive posts actually deserve. So you have no right to whine that I'm being unfair to you. You only get to post here on MY terms, not yours. Your freedom of speech ends here when you abuse it to abuse me. And if you persist in trying, you'll be IP-blocked at server level so I no longer even have to look at your shit before I flush the commode. I'm a closet sadist that way, I guess.

Good night, and get fucked.

April 9, 2010

Stupid Sex Tricks: I am the Walrus

Koo koo katchoo!

Festive Left Friday Blogging: Chavecito inaugurates another well

And this time, it's a gas well in the Gulf of Venezuela:

Another example of co-operation between the state petrochemical company, PDVSA, and foreign private industry. And they said it couldn't be done. Suck it, haters. Mixed-economy socialism at work, with no tyranny in sight. See what happens when companies learn to play nice, instead of getting all hoggy?

April 8, 2010

Short 'n' Stubby: Leftist Authoritarian Bitches-R-Us

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Yes, kiddies, Ms. Manx is back. Fear the Manx! For she brings you glad tidings of great joy, at least for us leftists. For you rightards out there (particularly the name-calling projectionist trolls from across the pond), well, not so much...

First off, a cannon blast from Keith Olbermann and John Dean. Dean uncovered some startling, long-forgotten findings in researching his latest book, and it bodes ill for those who call me a "leftist authoritarian bitch". 1% of the left is an awfully small number, and I'm not in it.

Next up, the lies of the right get unmasked by the News Corpse. What? FUX Snooze isn't popular? They lied even to the Nielsen ratings people? You don't say. Well, they certainly wouldn't, being rightard obscurantists and all. But I'll say it, because I believe in REAL freedom of speech! We leftist authoritarian bitches are funny that way.

Then, Candace Gingrich neatly dissects how right-wing authoritarianism works in schools, enabling bullies to exclude queer and disabled kids from their precious toy proms, and also to hound an innocent immigrant to death. And of course, Candace would know about right-wing authoritarians and their sneaky ways of playing hell; her brother, Newt, was the one who formulated that infamous "word list" that was geared directly at undermining the left. Happily, she is his polar opposite both personally and politically. Which is why she's lined up on the side of free speech, too, in exposing how insidious deceptions work.

And while we're on the subject of bullies, insidious deceptions, and the use of free speech to unmask the truth, please read this excellent piece by my fellow Canadian, Josh Frappier. And then spread it far and wide. It deserves to go viral. Let's roll!

Nations can be bullies, too, as Norman Finkelstein points out in this worthwhile longer piece at Alternet. It's an excerpt from his latest book, and dovetails nicely with the whole theme of right-wing authoritarianism, lying and obfuscation I've got going on here.

And does anyone seriously buy Glenn Beck's "I'm just an entertainer" schtick? And where have we heard all that before? From the Coultergeist, who seriously believes her own smack? From the Pigman, whose "entertainment" is all strictly political and authoritarian in nature (his followers are called dittoheads after all!) If these people are really just entertainers, and their shit is really just meant to be funny, then don't put them on the news. Don't clutter up the talk shows with them. Give them their own SCTV-style sketch-comedy show, and watch 'em tank. And then pull the plug, and never let us hear from them again. We have better things to do with the concept of free speech, and time's a-wastin'.

And finally, isn't it funny how the Randroids all claim to be libertarians when their beloved prophet-idiotess was anything but? Sorry, people, but "right-wing" and "libertarian" are opposing terms that cancel each other out. Ditto "left-wing" and "authoritarian", as John Dean found out to his utter surprise (see my first link again, if you don't believe me.) People who worship sociopaths who in turn worshipped psychopaths are NOT libertarian by any stretch of the imagination.

Right-wing nuts, you are hereby my bitches. You may now kneel down, hands behind your back, and lick my boots. I won't compel you, of course, as I'm terribly "authoritarian" that way.

April 6, 2010

Cruelty, the uncoolest cut of all

First, a little music to set the mood...

...because I'm really going to try for rationality and detachment here. It's not gonna be easy, because everything about this just triggers the old blue blaze of rage and pain that I felt as an ostracized, bullied child. Every time I got shut out or picked on, that blaze is what I felt. And I don't like admitting that I still feel it every time I see someone else get shut out and/or picked on. You're supposed to get over that old kid stuff, you know?

Only, here's the sad part: You don't. You really don't. And if you're honest with yourself, you admit it.

And if you're really REALLY honest, and painfully so, you admit that this shit goes on everywhere.

Okay, I admit it: This shit goes on everywhere. It goes on in supposedly liberal, enlightened, democratic-socialist CANADA, for God's sake. I know, because it happened to me.

And no, it didn't happen for the same reason as it happened to Constance McMillen. I'm not gay. I didn't have a prom date at all (at least not for MY high school's formal), much less one of my own sex. I was a shy, introverted, bespectacled, skinny, pale, redheaded, frizzy-haired, unathletic, unhip, unhot, too-damn-smart-for-my-own-good geek. And in a small town, where the narrowest definition of "cool" prevails, someone like that stands out. And standing out is unforgivable. The nail that sticks out, gets hammered down. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

And yeah, I got hammered. All through grade school and much of high school, I got fucking hammered.

I won't go into any specific incidents. I've already been triggered enough for one damn day. There are more of them than can be named, anyway, and it made going to school nauseating. And this was for a kid who enjoyed classes. A kid who really wanted to be a doctor someday; a kid whose teachers kept telling her she really ought to be a writer. Being seen enjoying the use of your own brains is apparently utterly unforgivable in a place where conformist mediocrity is prized, other than of course in athletics.

So I got hammered. And I continued to stick out anyway. I bent, but would not be hammered down. I tried to hide my brains: useless. (I still got high 90s in French without even trying. I could have slept through that class and still aced every test.) I tortured my hair with a curling iron, to straighten and feather it into some semblance of fashion: useless. (One small whiff of humidity, and foof it went.) I got contact lenses, so people could finally see that I had a pretty face and not just four eyes: useless. (They were in the habit of seeing me through their own distorted, invisible funhouse lenses. Nothing I did was going to shatter those.)

No, the only thing that saved me from the whole thing was graduating. And going to university in a modest-sized city, where things were bigger all around. And learning to be myself, instead of some cookie-cutter knockoff of every other ditzy chick with Farrah Fawcett wings in her hair. It meant accommodating my curls, accepting my introverted, geekish nature, and learning to flip the bird at convention (and sometimes, at conventional people). And it meant becoming someone radically different not only from what the others were, but from what I had been and thought I should be.

Even a nervous breakdown and the realization that I wasn't going to make it to med school wasn't nearly as bad as being forcibly flipped out of the pond like I was all through my grade- and high-school years. Even realizing I'd fallen hopelessly in love with a gay guy, and being damn near suicidal at the ripe old age of 20, was a piece of cake compared to being shut out. I could get over my thwarted dreams, go beyond the misplaced romantic interest (he's still my best friend to this day--how 'bout THEM apples?), and even get past the desire to just go to sleep and never wake up. But this? No. It follows you silently everywhere.

I thought I had gotten away from it at university, good fucking riddance to small towns and smaller minds--only to find myself suddenly struggling with all the unresolved pain, anger and stark terror of those days. And sometimes, in the dead of night, when I should be asleep but just can't, I still have those moments where I forget who I am, who I've worked so hard to become. I even forget that the town has grown, and is not the same bigoted little place anymore. All I remember is what I have yet to overcome.

And what I have to overcome is that poison cruelty that seems almost inherent in people. The same that prompted Jean-Paul Sartre to say that hell is other people. It's not inborn; it's learned. And it gets passed down through generations. Each one gets beaten by the previous one until it bears the identical scars. Then it turns on the next and starts beating on them until they, too, bear those scars...

So when I read the obscene self-justifications that some people go through, presenting themselves, the bullies, as the poor little victims of a nasty, gay revolution--well, why not just wave a red cape in front of me and every other excluded kid? I mean, it's not as if you're not just asking to get your sorry asses kicked, is it now?

And yeah, I would so love to kick every ass of every person who ever did this to another. Doesn't matter for what "reason". I don't give a shit for your justifications; spare me the "explanations", I'm in no mood to hear any of them. Don't bother to comment here; I'll either delete it or declare you a Wanker of the Week, depending on whether my mood is fair or foul. You cannot explain or justify this. I know what you did. It has a name: CRUELTY.

Cruel isn't cool, and I'm not fucking cool with anyone who's cruel. I want to kick cruel people's asses, ALL of them. I'd wear out my trusty old cherry Docs doing it, no doubt about that.

But we're not supposed to kick ass; we're supposed to be meek, mild and forgiving. We're supposed to grow beyond all that. We're supposed to Forget. I mean, it's only a silly prom, fergawdsakes. For a bright kid with a future, it's supposed to be just a stumbling-stone on the road to Better Things. It's only important to those who peaked in high school. That ain't me, right?

Well, fuck it. I haven't forgotten. And I'm not sure I've forgiven, either. The fact that a fake prom so far from where I grew up has the power to trigger all my buried outrage and bring it crashing back like it only happened yesterday, is a testimony to the power that cruelty has. It has the power to make me forget, or at least minimize, the fact that I did go to a prom, in another town, with a guy not from my high school. He liked me more than I liked him. He was not the guy I'd have gone with, had I been "cool" enough to be offered a choice of dates; still, I showed him mercy, because he was an even bigger geek than I was. He didn't know what a loser I was to all my peers. To him, I was actually pretty. For his sake I put on a brave face and a beautiful outfit. How elegant I looked in my own hand-made royal-blue strapless moiré dress and my mom's black elbow gloves (a damn sight better than these tacky little prats, that's for sure.)

And yeah, I made the dress myself. Pleated overbodice, six-inch-wide sash, floor-length skirt, the works. And the black organdy ruffled shawl, too. See what happens when you apply yourself in Home Ec, girls? And don't you guys wish your girlfriends were hot--and SMART--like me?

But this makes it hard to remember that. It has the power to make me forget that I'm not the ostracized kid anymore, that I quit being that kid even in my last year at high school, where I began to morph into an adult whom other adults actually like. It even has the power to make me forget, for a moment, just how strong I really am.

And that strength didn't come out of nowhere; it came out of being that excluded, bullied kid. Maybe it's made me a better adult, a better listener, a more worthwhile person to talk to and with?

Maybe.

One thing it definitely HAS made me is glad that I don't fit in, after all. Because if fitting in among the bullies who made my youth hell is such a prize, I don't want it. I'd have to turn into a piece of shit just like them. What's that old saying? "Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat", I believe is how it goes. Nope; no rodent here. Just a human being who doesn't need to pretend superiority.

And one who admires the hell out of Constance for taking you all on and showing you all up. She's got more class in her left pinky-nail than all of you have in your collective, pathetic, self-justifying carcass.

So yeah, bigoted kiddies, knock yourselves out claiming that you are the bullied ones, being shat on by northerners, gay revolutionary ACLUers, and people from the two coasts and God only knows where all else. Whine your sorry asses off about how everybody else looks down on you (as if YOU had a monopoly on pusillanimous shitheadedness!) Go play your smarmy phony victim card until it wears the hell out.

And it will, soon. Because it's flimsy. And because the rest of the world isn't stupid; it knows what lengths you went to in order to make sure your precious widdle prom was queer- and crip-cootie-free. That much secrecy takes planning and co-ordination. It takes a lot of complicity. It also takes massive amounts of cowardice. Not one of you kids had the stones to defy your parents, your school board, or your picky-picky peers; you are all a bunch of fucking wimps! You think you avoided "drama" by excluding Constance and her same-sex date, and a tiny bunch of disabled kids? HA! You just brought it on yourselves, ten-thousandfold. You deserve the shitstorm that you've got coming now.

And I, for one, will be pointing the finger at you and laughing when the verdict comes down against you. Because I love seeing the shoe go on the other foot, and pinching. It's not nice, I know. But it is satisfying. And it is so very, very richly deserved.

Sucks to be you, kids. Here, have another song. And try learning how to dance without that graceless booty-humping you did at your "drama-free" prom, 'kay? That shit's no cooler than your overt, deliberate cruelty was.

April 5, 2010

Support the troops?

When they pull something like this?

Sorry, no. I do not support murder.

ADDENDUM, ca. 11:00 pm: This has really gone big in Latin America, where of course they pay attention to such things as militarized imperialism.

Stupid Sex Tricks: Whole lotta wankin' goin' on...

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Yup, Michigan is chock-a-block with wankers. Explains a lot about those militias, no?

Bolivian local elections: preliminary results

Video in Spanish. So far, no surprises: all the departments that were pro-Evo, have remained so; all that were against, still are.

Guess running a former beauty queen for governor of Beni wasn't such a hot gimmick, after all.

Final tally to be known on April 24, but I still don't expect any upsets.

April 4, 2010

Music for a Sunday: And while they're busy reaching their conclusions...

...I'll be reaching for something else:

Yup, another awesome Canadian band.

This song is dedicated to the antihero of my novel. So's this one:

April 3, 2010

Stupid Sex Tricks: No WHAT?

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I love how the ground outside that see-thru van is littered with little spent condoms. Adds a nice touch to know the stickmen are having safer sex, no?

Wankers of the Week: Crappy Easter!

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Looks like chocolate bunnies aren't the only things I'm gonna be taking big bites of this weekend. Guess who's getting butthurt this week, kids...yup, it's a whole nest of wankers!

1. Daniel Fucking Katsnelson. As if having the gall to go raping his way through a university dorm with a buddy wasn't enough, how's this for chutzpah at his criminal trial?

"Now maybe she will know to keep her doors locked," Daniel Katsnelson said in a statement read Friday in court.

He said he "hoped the victim would be able to take away something positive from this," Crown attorney Andrew Locke quoted Katsnelson in reading from a pre-sentencing report.

Dude, how 'bout you and your fucking pal take away one positive thing from this--like being thankful none of those women went after your 'nads with a knife? That would teach you to keep them out of rooms where you didn't have any right to be. Because that's what you'd have gotten if you'd assaulted me. And that's what I hope you get when you get out again.

2. Nick Fucking Levasseur. Dude, if it weren't for the US presence in Japan, they probably wouldn't even have anime. You might as well wish your country had nuked itself instead. The Japanese undoubtedly do.

3. Michelle Fucking McGee. Yes, she makes the list again this week, this time for misplaced self-righteousness and sheer asininity. "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone"? Well, all right. Since I don't chase married sleazeballs, don't have Nazi tattoos (or any other kind, for that matter), don't use children's fridge magnets to spell out white-supremacist sayings to warp young minds (I don't even have kids!), don't earn my money through shakedowns, and above all, don't sulk and pout over the backfiring of a scheme gone agley (because I don't scheme), well--I'm a-castin'. PS: Nice tweeter handle, Michelle--it suits you. PPS: Nice disingenuousness, too.

4. Michael Fucking Steele. Bad enough that the RNC's Uncle Tom likes to go to bondage-themed strip joints on the donors' dime, but did you know he was into scapegoating, too? That's seriously kinky. No wait, make that PERVERTED. Even kinky people find him nauseating. And what's this I hear about a phone sex line?

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5. John Fucking Ivison. Sexist much? I'm no big fan of Blondoleezza, but I don't see you snarking at any male politicians who "harangue" their wives. Maybe because men haranguing women is so, um, normative. How 'bout criticizing Hillary Clinton on legitimate grounds, for a change--like her inept continuation of BushCo's foreign policy?

6. The Fucking Fraser Institute. Climate change is really happening, and yes, human activity is to blame--but guess who Big Oil and Big Pollution are paying to issue elaborate denials of the blindingly obvious? Yep, the usual right-wing bête noire. There are no words to express the depths of my loathing.

7. Sarah Fucking Palin. If the bloggers' rumors are true, then yet another of her charmingly named offspring has demonstrated, once more, the kind of moral character that comes of a conservative mother's tutelage. Namely, one that is very adept at covering up for one's multitude of sins.

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And of course, we just love those conservative values, which were so evident already when the Paliness herself was but a young slip of a thing...I mean, would Jesus want his mother to go around in a shirt like this?

8. Helena Fucking Guergis, yet again. What is it about her that inspires such touching loyalty in her staffers that they roll out the Tory-blue astroturf for this woman? I have no idea, but if she bottled it, I bet she could make a fortune from fellow Tories with a long trail of stench to cover up...like, say, Harpo's ideological penchant for making women, especially those at the bottom of the totem pole, totally invisible.

9. Aubrey Fucking Levin. I hope he goes to jail for the rest of his unnatural life, and I hope he gets lots of electroshock while he's there. To his genitals. That is, when he's not locked up with a big gay black dude who's totally hot for his saggy old bod.

10. Whoever the fuck thinks it's a good idea to go tasering pregnant women just for failing to sign a parking ticket. Another stun-gun to the genitals, coming right down!

11. Whoever the fuck thinks a "game" based around rape (as retaliation for an imaginary accusation of molesting girls on a train) is just harmless fun and should not be subject to crackdown.

12. Jean Fucking Charest. Isn't it embarrassing when even arch-conservative Alberta is an easier province to be a Muslim woman in a niqab than the presumably liberal Québec?

13. Ross Fucking Douthat. Yes, let's blame everyone in the Catholic sex-abuse scandal EXCEPT those who are actually guilty--namely the priests who did it. As though sex abuse didn't happen BEFORE there were hippies, promiscuity, Vatican II, psychotherapy, and all that other unrelated stuff that conservatives so love to blame for the "moral decline" which, in fact, was there from the very beginnings of the church. When will we hear patriarchy and its absurd, obscene power-lusts blamed? Ross? Ross?

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14. Tina Fucking Stone. Next time, before whipping yourself into a frenzy over any given bill, how about reading it first? Or is comprehension too much to ask of the inbred yokels of the backwoods?

15. Alex Fucking Knepper. Because drunken college women apparently just rape themselves. And because assholish frat boys would never get laid unless some girl looked at them through beer goggles. Yeah, Alex, you're gonna be really popular on campus for your little squib there. Better pray nobody bobbits you while under the influence. Because if anyone did, I'd say YOU asked for it. And if you don't like my saying that, then get it through your young, dumb head: RAPE IS NOT SEX, IT'S VIOLENCE. AND THERE IS NO SUCH FUCKING THING AS "IMPLIED CONSENT"!!! You say you wanted clarity? There it is, straight from a woman. Now STFU!

16. Jean-Claude Fucking Rochefort. Excuse me, but how is calling for the murder of women on your shitty blog NOT misogyny? Idolizing a mass-murderer of women is "not a danger to women"? If that's not, then what is? Let's face it, "masculinism" is nothing but a clumsy, graceless eupehemism for a fucked-up hatred of all things female.

And no, feminists did not "make a hero of" Marc Lépine. He was never a hero to anyone...except fucked-up male chauvinists who would like nothing more than to see women disappear from the public sphere. In other words, assholes like Rochefort.

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17. and 18. Hélène Fucking Morin and Guillaume Fucking Langlois are also complicit in this bullshit. Anti-hate laws don't protect women because we're not a minority? WTF??? Women may not be a minority, but we ARE the largest group discriminated against in this country. We are also the largest group to be murdered simply for being born members of a group. Fuck you both for helping to perpetuate gender-based killings, you walking embarrassments to society.

19. David Fucking Brooks. Way to offer false dichotomies. But only to women, naturally. Sexist much? Here's the choice I'd make, Brooksy--if it had to be between my career and some douchebag with a madonna-whore complex who thinks I should stay home and suck his cock all day, I'd pick career...and then go find a good-looking guy who would love me all the more for pursuing that, and isn't so goddamned insecure about his manhood. Suck on THAT!

20. Paul Fucking Crouch, Jr. Heterosexism, homophobia, porn, indecent advances...and heaven only knows what else. How Christian!

21. Jack Fucking Cassell. I predict that this one will soon be known as "Jack Asshole", or just plain old "Jackass". Should have his medical licence revoked. Capitalism is a violation of the Hippocratic Oath!

22. Jesse Fucking James. Shock value, schmock value. If it dresses like a white supremacist, salutes like a white supremacist and schtups a white supremacist, quack quack quack!

23. Raniero Fucking Cantalamessa. Bad enough that the Vatican can't police their own, preferring to sweep clerical sexual abuse under rug after rug after rug. But even worse? They claim that they're being persecuted when their unclean sweeping habits get criticized. Persecuted like whom? The Jews. Oh no they didn't! Oh yes, they did. And the Jews are not impressed.

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24. Bill Fucking Donohue. Blaming Teh Ghey--it's how Catholics cover up their multitude of sins. Because straight men never abuse girls, especially not if they're priests and the girls are parishioners--right?

25. Bill O'Fucking Reilly. False equivalence--it's how the Right covers its multitude of sins. Because the Left has done all those same awful terroristic things that have made the news in the US lately. RIGHT?

26. and 27. Sean Fucking Hannity and Ollie Fucking North. Twenty years ago, Ollie got caught in a lie. Twenty years later, he's still lying. And neither he nor Hannity support the troops in any real sense. In fact, they're both still doing what they do best: robbing them blind like the fucking charlatans that they are. Hey Ollie, maybe you can get Fawn Hall to smuggle the evidence out in her skirt like she did last time she took a bullet for you, you fucking scumbag.

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28. Sam Fucking Kennedy. A "war college strategy" that purports to take over the nation without civil war? Um, FAIL. This "Guardians of the Free Republics" shit is just more crazy-ass anti-tax Freeperville bullshit, mutated. If they claim to have military backing, their intentions are not peaceful, but rather, their statements are a veiled threat. Do they seriously think the people of the US are onside, much less willing to let their strange strategy go down without a fight? Of course they aren't, damn right they won't, and that's why the FBI and the DHS are probing them as a potential terrorist threat.

29. Ewart Fucking Cummings. The least you could do, when a teenage girl dies as a result of your benighted efforts to cure her convulsions through superstition, is to be humble and admit that you were wrong, and not say dumbass things like "I did nothing wrong," and "Ungodly people would not understand certain things like driving out spirits." Dude, the girl is dead, and your ignorance and superstition are responsible for her death! It seems to me that the one who does not understand is YOU.

30. Terry Fucking Lakin. Another doctor gone bad. Joining the Birthers and defying military orders? Wank, wank, WANK. Tell ya what, why don't you produce YOUR birth certificate? That might inject some levity, if not relevance.

And that's it for this week; no personal wankers, what a relief. After all this wankage, I think I'd end up looking like this if one of those came along:

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Good night, and Crappy Easter!

In midst of global sexual abuse crisis, Vatican covers up, scapegoats the innocent

That's what the headlines would read if mainstream anglo news services had any remaining commitment to accuracy. Instead, what we get is:

"Venezuela's Catholic Church says Chavez's Marxist politics threatening religion"

"Church: Marxism a threat to religion in Venezuela"

"Is Hugo Chavez the Kremlin's Useful Idiot?"

Okay, that last is dumbass "analysis" of the recent visit by Vladimir Putin, by a Brazil-based sportswriter who clearly knows nothing about international politics. But still, are we sensing a pattern here?

Yup, the old Red Scare soundtrack is playing once more on the Mighty Wurlitzer! The Cold War has been miraculously resurrected! Hallelujah!

And just in time for Holy Week, too, when the discredited Catholic hierarchy has its biggest opportunity to lure straying sheeple back into the fold and get them to revert to the old superstitions of praying for rain and blaming the leftist president for El Niño. No shit, that's what Cardinal Urosa is calling on Venezuelans to do. As if the people of Venezuela hadn't been watching the skies for months, hiring cloud-seeders, or listening to climatologists who know better than the church does as to what's what. And in a country where the overwhelming majority of electricity is generated by hydro (the Guri Dam alone provides a whopping 70% of the entire country's power), of course the seasonal rains are of paramount importance. (The fact that the much-maligned infrastructure, which generations of previous presidents failed a lot harder to invest in, worked better when there was no drought gets swept under the rug. It's much easier to blame Chavecito that way.)

Of course, what gets left unsaid by the Dissociated Press and other associated disociados is that Cardinal Urosa is a rabid right-winger, as are all the Venezuelan cardinals. They have always come down clearly on the side of the oligarchy, and never more so than now, when the oligarchs are out of power and likely to remain so for decades, if not forever. As Alberto Nolia points out on the most recent episode of his show, The Devil's Papers, the Venezuelan church hierarchy is politicized; it is aligned with the opposition; and even during Holy Week, they just can't lay off the politicking. And considering that the Church is supposed to be a spiritual force in the world, rather than a political one, that's a real perversion.

But of course, that's not the only perversion it's guilty of. Here's Professor Vladimir Acosta, saying something that would have been unthinkable two decades ago--but which now, in this scary red era of "no free speech in Venezuela", is not only speakable, but widely acknowledged by the nation's progressive majority:

He's saying that despite his considerable charisma, the late Pope John Paul II was an arrogant reactionary, one of the worst in modern history. He was allied with the Reagan administration, the CIA and all their puppets in Latin America, most notably the pious Chilean dictator, Augusto Pinochet. His canonization of the founder of the known fascist cult, Opus Dei, is more than a little hinky; so is his consistent silencing of progressive voices within Catholicism, such as Latin America's proponents of Liberation Theology. Apparently anticommunism was always more important to him than the church's professed concern for social justice. And anticommunists got preference and handshakes, even when they were the most vile abusers of human rights--as were the Argentine junta's devoutly Catholic generals, along with Chile's Augusto Pinochet. Human rights abusers were absolved, excused and forgiven, but never shunned, excommunicated, or even admonished! That was for those who dared to question papal infallibility, such as Hans Küng.

And of course, we won't get into all the sexual abuse that was going on while John Paul II was in power. Abuse which the current pope, who was then Cardinal Ratzinger, was instrumental in sweeping under rug after rug after rug. Neither will we go into the fact that they're running out of rugs now, because the rugs are being yanked out from under them by scores of victims coming forward to tell all.

No, let's just play the old hoary tune about how the godless commies are coming, and how the KGB has made a beachhead in Venezuela. That's much easier than delving into how many Venezuelans (and others) were sexually abused by clerics for how long, isn't it?

April 2, 2010

Have you heard of Humberto da Silva yet?

No? You haven't? Well, then you simply must watch this:

REAL free speech, being used for what free speech is supposed to be used for: exposing myths, lies, and pompous self-righteous twats.

He's no Rex Murphy, and that's fine with me.

Festive Left Friday Blogging: Because we haven't had Evo in a while

And because I found this yummy pic of him. I wonder what he's saying here...

evo-pssst.jpg

Caption suggestions welcome!

April 1, 2010

This one's for you, Constance McMillen

My best friend sent me this link, and writes:

Let's see if I can state this clearly.

The courts said the lesbian's rights were violated, but that it wouldn't mandate the school host the prom since there was an alternative one being held by parents. (It wouldn't mandate the school host so long as the alternative included same-sex couples.)

The school officials told the courts that the private prom being organized by parents would be inclusive of everyone.

(It wasn't -- it also excluded same-sex dates.)

The private prom people said "OK -- you can come" but made it difficult for the lesbian to try and get a ticket -- and even though she tried, she didn't get a ticket.

The private prom has been cancelled as a result. (Fears of being sued.)

A pro-diversity group has stepped in and is hosting a prom where all are welcome. But of course the school and parents are doing their best to make sure the students feel the lesbian "ruined prom" (because a prom hosted by the wrong type of people would not be acceptable as we all know.)

I hope this young woman moves away to go to college where she can live among RATIONAL people!

Me too...hence the song. I'm thinking specifically of the line that goes "And I'm leavin' Mississippi with the radio on..."

I hope that whenever Constance gets out of that southern-fried bigot-fest, she leaves with the radio on. And that she's singing at the top of her lungs, and not looking back.

Chin up, little sister.

A song for the day

No joke, this one's good. Back in the day, these Torontonians opened for Rush. Word is they've recently reunited, too.