Ah. That's nice.

So, here's the dish, kiddies...your aunt's two babies, PowerBook 12 and PowerBook 15, are gonna be taking a little trip this aft. Never mind where, only keep in mind that when they come back, they'll have been rejuvenated and will be lookin' fine. PowerBook 12's hard drive melted down in spectacular fashion last week during what was supposed to be a routine software update; PowerBook 15, which has also recently gotten a new hard drive, now needs a new keyboard (the S key on this sucker sticks!) and probably a new sound card as well.

Doctor 'Bina has been concerned about the babies' prognosis, but she's thankful for the Time Capsule, which has saved everything from PowerBook 12 and is now doing PowerBook 15 as well, with a little help from Nurse Leopard. She's also pleased that the Time Capsule has enabled her to rescue her music, pix and works-in-progress from PowerBook 12; it's kind of nice to have those on both machines, no?

But in order to have them on both machines, it's paramount to have both machines working. And PowerBook 12 can't work without a functional hard drive, alas. Since I'll be taking both at the same time for repairs, I'll be incommunicado (¿incomunicada?) until further notice. And among other things, that means I'll be temporarily closing this blog to comments (gotta keep the spammers and trolls at bay, y'know!) I'll also ask my regular e-mailers to keep it down to a dull roar--I can't read, respond or unclutter my mailbox until I get the babies back, after all.

Yeah, I know--whatta drag.

Don't worry about me; I'll be safe, happy and busy-busy-busy in my garden, and giving the place a long-overdue spring cleaning as well. If worse comes to worst, I'll annoy my cats.

In the meantime, have a few lulz on me:

And I will see you on the other side.

And now, the story:

TEGUCIGALPA. Last Friday afternoon, two rocks or bullets hit the car in which the president of Honduras, Manuel Zelaya, was riding. No major damage was done, according to the president, who ruled out "political motivations".

"I don't know if it concerns an attempt on my life; I can't say. The Department of Investigation is here looking into it," said Zelaya.

"There are two impacts, no one knows if they are from rocks or gunshots, but this will be investigated. But it's not the work of professionals. A pro wouldn't leave you alive," said the Honduran president. He was driving a grey Toyota Lexus, along with three motorcycle outriders and a security car. Behind the vehicle, another car followed throughout the ring road of the capital city.

Suddenly, Zelaya noticed two impacts in the windshield, but neither one hit him.

Zelaya ruled out that the incident had "political motivations" from groups he has confronted. "I don't believe it's anything political...they would be fools to do it," said the leader, alluding to sectors who oppose his proposal to elect a Constituent Assembly as part of the general elections planned for November.

In the primary investigations, experts have so far found evidence of neither stones nor gunshots.

Zelaya, who has taken a left turn as a member of the Bolivarian Alliance of the Americas (ALBA), spearheaded by Cuba and Venezuela, maintains a confrontation with conservative groups who in the past had the power to make or break presidents. This confrontation, which has been going on for several months, was aggravated in March when Zelaya called a referendum--for June 28 of this year--to determine whether the general elections in November will also see the election of a Constituent Assembly (to rewrite the Honduran constitution.)

Well, if this was a murder attempt, one possible motive is clear; the 28th is just two weeks away, and if Zelaya were done away with, there would be no referendum on that date after all. No referendum would mean no chance of a constituent assembly, meaning in turn that the traditional power-brokers in Honduras would maintain their power unchallenged.

Meanwhile, a preliminary report says that the mystery marks were not produced by a firearm.

The investigation continues.

Great song, great video, great hair.

1. Joel Fucking Brinkley. Supposedly an award-winning journalist, but can he get a single word right when it comes to Venezuela? Fuck NO. All he does is repeat what every other stupid hack who can't be bothered to research anything or interview anyone does: rely on oppo crapaganda and the usual suspect English-language sources, and never leave the privacy of his Stanford sinecure before filing his "reports". If you want facts, look out for his name--and AVOID it. My guess is that his awards and his cushy professorship were for CIA disinformation compliance, nada más.

2. Jim Fucking Flaherty. Bad enough that there are Canadians out of work due to the recession. Can you believe that our finance minister is now out there bashing them, too? Well, of course you can--he's a Conservative. It's what they do, bashing those less fortunate than their own well-padded selves. It absolves them from having to do the right thing about it. It also saves them from having to take the blame for their own shitty fiscal policies, which are responsible for us being in this pickle in the first place!

3. Sarah Fucking Palin, for the umpteenth time. Girl, have you ever had an original idea? Even one? Don't get back to us until you do. We're sick of you AND the other worn-out conservahacks you shamelessly plagiarize.

4. Lisa Fucking Raitt. Not only is she trying to sell off the aging medical-isotope reactor at Chalk River (undoubtedly for her own profit), she's also trying to keep the public in the dark about her shitty activities. AND she's crying crocodile tears over having called the cancer/isotope media issue "sexy". Is she genuinely sorry? Hell, no--if she were, she wouldn't have waited so long to apologize for her stupid, opportunistic remarks. It looks to me like she's been deliberately mismanaging the Chalk River reactor, the better to have an excuse to privatize it. Next up: Obstruction of justice? Don't put it past her--she's a Tory. They're not exactly loath to skirt the law for private-sector money, as Brian Fucking Mulroney has made clear. In fact, she's not even loath to cut the throats of her own co-partisans--she's projected her own incompetence onto the federal health minister, Leona Aglukkaq (who probably complained about the lack of medical isotopes, is my educated guess.) Raitt needs to resign, NOW. And then go on trial--SOON.

5. Charles Fucking Krauthammer. This freak not only lives in Bizarro World, he loves it there...and preaches bullshit on its behalf. I'm with Jon Stewart: FUX Snooze is the channel of bullshit, so of course Charles fits right in there. Pretty much the key to understanding Charles is just to take everything he says, flip it 180 degrees...and maybe turn it upside down and inside out as well. Oh yeah: And dump a truckload of salt on it. Can't forget the salt!

6. James W. Von Fucking Brunn: Right up there with Scott Fucking Roeder, in my eyes. BTW, by "there", I mean on a pile of maggot-ridden bovine feces. The "Aryan gene-pool" he's so enamored of is about as deep as a puddle of dog piss at the foot of a fire hydrant. Oh, and he thinks Hitler "didn't gas the Jews". Someone please take this crazy motherfucker on a trip to Auschwitz, assuming he recovers...which I rather hope he does not. (Ditto his dirty hate site, which should be taken down on the grounds that it is a public health hazard.)

7. Wiley Fucking Drake. So, Dr. Tiller's death was "the answer to a prayer", and now he prays "imprecations" against Barack Obama? Trust me, Wiley, you do NOT want to know what I'm praying with regard to YOU.

8. Fucking GE. For refusing to help fight global warming, preferring to suck on the public teat and then keep the results for its own profit. A worse instance of ignoble selfishness is hard to imagine. Unfuckingbelievable!

9. and 10. Fucking Dick and Tater. Nice job, leaving a huge fucking mess for the better man who replaced you to clean up. And if he can't do it, I can just imagine who'll be waiting in the wings to claim to have a miraculous answer to it all--THE SAME PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR LETTING IT HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE!

11. Michael Fucking Steele. Uncle Tom makes some interesting, revealing points: When Homeland Security head Janet Napolitano released a report warning that the right-wing climate of hate speech and anti-Obama rhetoric would boil over into terrorist incidents (as indeed it has), Uncle Tom claimed she was singling out Repugs. Well, DUH! Who did YOU think the racists, anti-Semites and doctor-killers were, Uncle Tom? They're the same people who would never elect YOU president because they secretly feel that your proper place is as a lawn jockey. And you, of course, are only too happy to fill precisely that place for them. That's why I call you an Uncle Tom. The Uncle Tom of Harriet Beecher Stowe's book, you see, was so well-behaved that he would not fight for what was right even when the lynchers were stringing him up for simply being black. Instead, he defended the prevailing order of social injustice to the death--HIS death.

* * *

And finally, to last week's Wanker #5, Stuart Fucking Bensch: Congratulations, you wangled yourself a ban in just two posts by violating the no-wank warning. (Note: How cute, you just now tried for a third. Too bad you're already spam-canned and all your e-mails are just going to get saved to my "Abusive" folder--for forwarding to the authorities, natch. Cyberstalkers aren't tolerated here, either.)

If you're going to go accusing people of laziness, look in the mirror first--YOU failed to update your own Internic info. What does that make you? Do the math, dumbfuck, since you think you know something about the subject. If I were your teacher, I'd give you a failing grade.

And speaking of laziness, isn't it time you retired your hate site AND your anti-doctor e-mail address? Your victim is dead. Your murderous mission is accomplished. It may be too much to expect of you to have decency, but you might at least have some shame. But noooo, even though he's now in his grave, you just GOTTA flog that dead doctor. Criminal insanity doesn't get much uglier than you, Stew.

Now begone, before I wash your baby-eating, cyber-stalking, feto-fascist, TERRORIST mouth out with this soap:

--Fern Hill, at DAMMIT JANET!

"I pray to the Blessed St. Progress and the Sacred Free-Trade Agreement that the US and the official press will intercede for my horrible sins..."

"Don't worry, my chosen son, official history will absolve you!"

Via Unrepentant Old Hippie, I found this tale of an anti-choice blog gone wild. Does anyone else find this passage fishy?

Beushausen said she really did lose a son shortly after birth in 2005. She started her blog in March to help deal with that loss and to express her strong anti-abortion views, she said.

She had expected only a handful of friends to read it, but when her first post got 50 comments, she was hooked.

"I've always liked writing. It was addictive to find out I had a voice that people wanted to hear," Beushausen said.

"Soon I was getting 100,000 hits a week, and it just got out of hand," she said. "I didn't know how to stop. ... One lie led to another."

She waited FOUR YEARS before starting a fake blog to deal with her grief? Talk about having unresolved issues. Most people have healed and moved on after between one year and three. I don't think grief alone was a motivator here.

Let's hope things don't come to this, but don't underestimate the anti-choice fascists. They won't stop until they've rolled back the clock to 1952, minimum. Required reading on what that would look like, here.

Meanwhile, even though Dr. Tiller's clinic is closed, elsewhere on the frontlines the Lord's work goes on. (Read John Irving's The Cider House Rules to get the reference.)

Let the lies, backpedaling and strange scapegoating begin. Stormfront and Operation Rescue are having kittens! Both kinds of fascists are saying the same thing now that their rhetoric has borne its inevitable fruit. Coincidence? Of course not.

And lest we forget what's REALLY at the bottom of all this violence and madness, here's a timely reminder. It's the HATE, stupid!

Garbage in, garbage out. Isn't it time to take out the trash?

And look! Lugo's all duded out in his cool shades!

The Big Guy arrives and, as usual, is mobbed by reporters. I'm too busy admiring his loud (but FABULOUS!) outfit to hear what he's saying. (Which is undoubtedly loud but fabulous, too. Isn't he always?)

I'm just blown away by all the good words from great people who linked my Wankers of the Week post from last Saturday night. I was worried about posting it at all, fearing I'd get death threats and anonymous mouth-breathers on the phone, or at the very least, a slew of woman-hating trolls wanking their toxic splooge all over this place.

Didn't happen. Instead, I got love from:

JJ at Unrepentant Old Hippie;

JABbering Stooge;

Dr. Prole at A Creative Revolution;

and I'm not sure who all else.

If anyone else linked me and I haven't heard about it yet, it's because I'm not a rancid ego-googler. I'm of the firm belief that those who go looking for what other people are saying about them, end up reading something that'll set their hair on fire, and I'd rather keep mine unsinged. But if you've recommended my post, feel free to add your link in the comments below. I can always use more fine folks on my blogroll.

And y'know, I really must dust off my pro-choice brass knucks more often. I'd forgotten how good it feels to hit misogyny below the belt. It's been 20 years since I helped a couple of million other Canadian women (and men!) get a bad law struck off the books, y'see...

EDIT: Also been added by Macu Naima at Milfuegos. Good to hear from you again, Macu!

...and plays the "Pathétique" for the Tiller Killer:

Scott Roeder called The Associated Press Sunday from the Sedgwick County jail, where he's being held on charges of first-degree murder and aggravated assault in the shooting death of George Tiller last week at the doctor's church in Wichita.

[...]

In two separate calls to AP Sunday, Roeder also complained about the "deplorable conditions in solitary" in Sedgwick County jail.

Sedgwick County Sheriff Robert Hinshaw said that Roeder was receiving appropriate medical treatment.

"It is after all a jail, but a modern state-of-the-art facility with professional staff," Hinshaw said. "While Mr. Roeder may not care for being in the Sedgwick County jail, all of our conditions and policies are designed to provide safety and security for all inmates, staff and public at large."

Roeder said it was freezing in his cell. "I started having a bad cough. I thought I was going to have pneumonia."

He said he called AP because he wanted to publicize the conditions in the jail so that in the future suspects would not have to endure the same conditions. Roeder also said he wanted the public to know he has been denied phone privileges for the past two days, and needed his sleep apnea machine.

Hinshaw disputed that phone privileges had been denied.

So, he's a publicity whore--so what's new? He's also a big fucking crybaby. Typical, of course--these fascist types all have a huge chip on their shoulder, and an even bigger sense of entitlement. What was he expecting, a rose parade for a conquering hero? Let's get real. He's entitled to nothing better than any other common criminal. Can't do the time? Don't do the crime, asshole.

Speaking of criminals (and assholes), get a load of this one trying to deflect attention from himself and the role his organization played in the crime:

Troy Newman, president of the anti-abortion group Operation Rescue, sent an e-mail to the AP Sunday saying of Tiller's shooter: "This guy is a fruit and a lunatic."

Well, if he's one, what are you, Mr. Newman? Pot, say hi to kettle over there in the mirror.

And if the FBI needs a place to start looking for accomplices, Operation Rescue is probably the best one. Seize their computers and don't forget their online caches. You'll find a wealth of terrorist conspiracy in there, guaranteed.

This picture is what capitalism looks like when the gloves come off:

It pretty much sums up the situation in Bagua, Peru right now. It was taken by some Belgian volunteers who happened to be in the neighborhood as Alan García's neoliberal Peru stripped off all pretence of liberalism (neo and otherwise), and just went full-on fascist. For good English summaries of all that's going on as it happens, see Otto and El Duderino.

And don't believe the hype you see in the mainstream media (assuming you see anything in there at all); this is a very unequal fight, which the little brown people did not start. The bulk of the dead and injured are indigenous activists, whom the Fat Bastard has already characterized as "not first-class citizens". If you don't consider him fascist for thinking that they are second-class, and that therefore it's okay to steal their land and its riches out from under them (and kill them when they dare to get in the way), you're probably a fascist too.

No shit, kiddies, this is how they really "think". And this is how they see women. Nice, innit?

Christ, what is it about abortion that brings out the wankers, baying for blood from women and doctors? Whatever it is, they were sure out in force this week, and their ugly side wasn't far below the surface. In many cases, it was right out front and proud. Just like a wanker's you-know-what. Here's who gets bitch-slapped for public obscenity by your Auntie Bina this week, kiddies...

1. Bill Fucking O'Reilly. For demonizing Dr. George Tiller, an abortion provider from Kansas who was recently murdered. IN CHURCH, no less. Of course, he's pretending he had nothing to do with it. What does one expect from a cowardly wanker like Mr. Oh-Really, or any other of his bed-wetting, loofah-abusing, woman-harassing, shit-stained ilk? They'll never man up and admit their share of responsibility, as Frank Schaeffer has done, for the general psychopathy of the right-wing fringe.

1 1/2. Juan Fucking Williams. Uncle Tom covers Billo's blotchy bully ass. Talk about compounding one's moral cowardice.

2. Randall Fucking Terry. See above, and add shameless mooching. Cthulhu will surely eat HIM hot and crispy one day...soon, I hope and pray. (Hey, it's commensurate to the crime. Just as he says.)

3. Scott Fucking Roeder. Yeah, I know--why is the stinking assassin third on the list? Because he didn't come by his murderous attitude just out of thin air. See the two (and a half) entries above. And add extra wanker points for his fascist militia membership. His ex-wife even confirms that his extremism was part of the reason she ended up divorcing him, and that it's also why his son, now 22, has as little as possible to do with his dad. Nice guy all around, eh?

4. All the fucking Twitter-shitters, freepers, etc., etc. ad nauseam who are applauding this crime. Are they nuts? YES. And they're also quite typical of the anti-abortion movement, no matter what anyone says. They deeply believe that all women who have sex are jezebels who must be punished for it--with pregnancy, among other things. And if a woman chooses not to stay pregnant (i.e. punished for sex), they scream for blood. Hers? Her doctor's? It hardly matters to these thugs, as long as someone is killed to atone for the act. "Pro-life" is a misnomer for these people; they clearly have no problem with the murder of medical professionals. Especially if those medical professionals also happen to deliver babies, not just abortions. And, more significantly, if they also practice adoption, as Dr. Tiller did. They also can't admit that Dr. Tiller did what he did out of a deep compassion for women in a serious bind. Are you people ashamed of yourselves yet? You should be. You're not pro-life, but the man you love to hate was. And now he's dead--thanks in no small part to all of you fascist WANKERS.

5. Whoever the fuck is responsible for this defamatory website. You've got wanker written all over you. Why don't you put your OWN name to it, you cowardly asshole? (EDIT: According to an anonymous benefactor commenting below, Wanker #5 is Stuart Bensch, of 1007 W Padon Avenue, Blackwell, Oklahoma 74631. Please direct all correspondence accordingly.)

6. Fucking Google. When I did a search for the phrase "George Tiller delivered babies", just to see if in fact he did (as many abortion providers do, surprise), the search left the crucial word, "delivered", out. WTF does Google have against people seeking complete, accurate information on an ob-gyn? Try it yourself and see--it WILL leave the "delivered" out unless you re-run the search asking it to leave it in! And even then, good luck finding non-Christofascist stuff. A right-wing-biased search engine? Don't look so shocked, kids. The world is full of right-wing bias, and it is the root of all evil. I already suspected something seriously amiss from what pops up in my "Hugo Chavez" Google Alerts. "Don't be evil" is apparently just an empty slogan to these wanks.

7. Anyone who refers to late-term abortion by the inaccurate term "partial birth". There is no such procedure, except in the fevered brains of the Amurrican Taliban. The overwhelming majority of "late-term" abortions are second-trimester, and are done only in the case of a fetus that isn't viable anyway. There is NO "partial birth" about it, and NO sense pretending that there is. Read this and get the facts!

8. Anyone who thinks that it will "save babies" to kill a doctor for Jeebus. No, it won't. Women who are going to abort, are going to go to any length they have to, even if it kills them. And if you don't believe me, maybe you should read what Dr. Garson Romalis has to say about his own near-death experience at the hands of one such walking freak-scene. It left him unable to deliver babies, which he did on a regular basis, as well as providing abortions, BEFORE he was shot! (Thanks a lot, James Charles Fucking Kopp. Why do you hate babies, James Charles?)

9. Anyone who thinks that abortion is a "holocaust" and that it's the sort of thing a Nazi would do. WRONG. The Nazis were against abortion. They were also most explicit in their "KKK" rule for women. This coincides remarkably with the Religious Reich's own role-modeling for females. They not only rewarded "good" German mothers-of-many with crosses, they actually forbade women to refuse to have children! And let me repeat, this rat-eaten assassin-of-doctors, like many others, was a fundie who moved in some pretty Nazified circles. So, if you're "pro-life" for religious reasons--congratulations! You have something major in common with fascists:

The Nazi Mother's Cross--the ultimate symbol of "pro-life" Christianity!

10. Bruce Fucking Murch. Figures that a Quiverfull cultist would celebrate something as heinous as this. They care precious little about the women, and much more about keeping 'em barefoot and you-know-what, in the name of raising an army for Jesus, and for fighting the so-called culture war. For some reason, this whole whacked-up theology has a funny way of backfiring on itself and breeding radical feminists instead. Gee, I wonder why!

And finally, anyone who thinks this CRIME will put an end to abortions anywhere. No, it won't. It won't even shutter one clinic! After a period of mourning, Dr. Tiller's clinic will be open next Monday...and practicing good medicine, providing a needed service to women in a bind. Meanwhile, your "hero" Roeder will be rotting in jail, and this time, he won't be getting out on any technicality. The law is clear--this is NOT justifiable homicide. This is first-degree MURDER, by definition--because there was malice aforethought. This is a legal definition which applies to all doctor-killings, but NOT to abortions. (When's the last time YOU saw a woman have an abortion simply to torture her own fetus? Oh, only about NEVER. Abortion is, therefore, not murder--QED.)

And no, I don't need you wanking in my comments section here. None of your comments will be published, and anyone who tries it will be insta-banned (and your e-mail will be saved to be forwarded to the appropriate authorities if you threaten me in any way).

Your hate speech stops here, bastards. Now go and get a life.

By acclamation, the OAS has finally reversed the 1962 resolution to bar Cuba from membership just for being a socialist country. Video in Spanish, but the smiles and applause say it all. (The photo is Fidel, making a public show of ripping up the resolution during one of his big crowd-pleasers.)

This is a truly historic moment. The wait has been long, and the fight very hard, but sanity has finally prevailed. Let's savor it for all it's worth.

Praise the Lord 'n' Lady, and pass the mojitos!

PS: Cuba sez thanks, but no thanks--the imperialistas don't get to set the conditions for our "return" when those are the exact same as the ones that got us expelled in the first place. So nice to know that nothing has really changed in the last, what, 50 years? (Someone please remind them that Cuba DOES have democracy, but it just isn't a revolving door greased by industry lobbyists. If they're going to make the stipulation that it be THAT brand of democracy, the Cuban people are well justified in telling them to shove a banana--or their own banana republicanism--up their butts.)

PPS: According to BoRev, The Onion's imaginary commentators have more insight on all this than the NYT, WaHoPo and Miami Herald's slack-jawed dweebs combined. I agree!

PPPS: Oh frack, it's already begun. The Politic-Ho reports that a State Dept. official and his wife have been charged with spying for Cuba, and that some are now saying all bets should be off. I guess the word détente isn't in their vocabulary, either.

Hey Raf, are you taking requests? I'd like you to sing Toni Braxton for me...

Remember how, many moons ago, the Ecuadorable One broke my heart by not joining the ALBA? Well, have I got news for YOU!

Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez today informed that Ecuador's official incorporation into the Bolivarian Alternative for the Americas (ALBA) is to take place at a meeting that should be attended by all the member nation presidents.

In a statement on the Venezolana de Televisión's "Dando y Dando" program, Chávez affirmed that President Rafael Correa had ratified his country's entry into the regional mechanism.

He announced that the meeting to officially inaugurate Ecuador as part of ALBA is scheduled for June 24 in the rural area of Carabobo, and affirmed that ALBA is an integration mechanism different from any process preceding it on the continent, and which makes emphasis on fighting poverty and social exclusion. The current member states are Venezuela, Nicaragua, Dominica, Bolivia, Cuba, Honduras, and St. Vincent and the Grenadines.

Chalk up one more educated type who knows what's economically good for his country. That ROCKS.